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Deadbeat


Deadbeat
Of trillions of men on Earth,
you're one I never, ever want to meet
never in my life, yet you caused me much hurt

When I was first growing in Mother's belly,
you immediately denied paternity,
called her a sl*t, a whore,
accused her of cheating, sleeping around, and more,
left her alone, heartbroken, hopes and dreams crushed,
all from one night on the hot bed of lust,
sexed her up, filled her with your load,
then bailed out on her when she needed you most

When I was born,
you weren't there, Mother was all alone,
the man in white gave me a slap on the rear,
Mother was so upset you weren't here,
She named me,
but without you, I have no legitimacy,
I'm an accident, a mistake,
hope I turn out well for God's sake
When I was a child,
starting preschool, so innocent, not yet wild,
all the other kids had a mom and dad,
you were the one thing I wish I had,
grade school was even worse,
every time I got sick, mom had to leave work,
stay home and take care of me,
once again, you were nowhere for me to see,
every birthday, every Christmas with us you missed,
years flew by, time passed, I grew and grew, you get the gist,
no more little girl, now I'm a teen,
beautiful, popular, A-student, smartest girl you've ever seen,
stress from school, boys, eventually turned to legal drugs,
took diet pills and antidepressants like vitamins,
made some mistakes, some errors in judgement,
but still graduated high school at 18, didn't get 16 & pregnant

When I was in college,
once again, you were MIA, you were absent,
living with one parent,
thank god Mother works, I can use her as a dependent,
to get financial aid to help pay for school, time will tell,
Lord knows it isn't cheap, expensive as hell,
Psych major, went through 8 years of college education,
you weren't there through hard times, or at either graduation,
you weren't there to comfort me, through the constant depression,
for my education, you made no financial contribution,
that's ok though, I got my degree in the end, I worked hard for it,
I made it without you, you trashy, disgusting degenerate

I'm an adult now, I'm free
late twenties, Master's of Psychology degree,
doing social work, six-figure salary,
married the most wonderful man, who to the point of obsession loves me,
the wedding was a huge one, a dream come true, naturally,
too bad you weren't there,
but at this point, I don't give a d*mn about you, I don't care
In my thirties now,
I still think, wondering how,
you could never be there for me my whole life,
when I was going through much struggling and strife,
then years later, show up at my husband and I's home,
trying to be fly, in ragged, trendy clothes, drenched in cologne,

drunken, slurring your words, giving a half-assed apology,
I loved it when my husband got in a rage, protected me,
repeatedly punched you in the face, kicked you in the gut,
broke your jaw, kicked you in those wrinkled, disease-filled nuts,
picked you up with his big, strong, muscled arms,
and threw you hard in the garbage can outside the house,
like the trash you are

Deadbeat,
of trillions of men on Earth,
you're one I never, ever, ever want to meet,
you abandoned me and Mother,
left us for another,
missed out on every part of our lives,
then tried to come back years later, with sweet talk and lies,
to neither one of our homes, don't you dare come,
you'll never be welcome, not in my life, not in my family,
I hate you, you're not my dad, you're dead to me,
for all the pain you caused Mother and I,
I hope you get what you deserve, for all I care, you could just die
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Submitted on July 03, 2014

3:25 min read
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