Confusion

My mind is filled with thoughts,
of what happened that night
that I pushed that feeling away,
when I wanted to hold it tight

When I think of how I longed for it,
yet fought the feeling out of self respect,
knowing I would jeopordize the exstacy
and I would later feel some regret;

Though it pains me to be the cause of his dispair,
to have indulged in that moment of pleasure
would mean risking the respect of my son,
that is something I couln't bare
 (for it is he whom,I
 treasure)
and though I sit comfortable in my decision
now that moment is gone, another page has turned
I wonder will he ever understand,
that in spite of being a mother,
as a woman for him I will always yearn;