Why!



Sisters!
I've thought o'er this until my brain has blisters.
Are you, indeed, such valiant resisters
Of all the charm, the grace, the noble bearing
Of that strange creature who's condemned to wearing
A bifurcated garment, and whose hair
Is pruned, say, monthly - if mere wear and tear
Has not destroyed the crop?
Sisters, I stop
To ponder that strange statement o'er
Once more:
And, though I don't know very much about it,
Frankly, I doubt it.
For if, indeed, you have no conscious aim,
Then why, I claim,
Why, sisters, WHY,
Why the glad eye?
And, by the by,
Why that adorable, coy, cute, elusive, shy
That certain - shall we say, that certain sly
The down-dropped eye
That half expressed desire to gently lean
Oh, you know what I mean.
If there is nothing to it,
Why do you do it?
Sisters, indeed, I am truly perplexed
Nay, almost vexed . . .
Again I pause
To meditate on certain proven laws,
On certain schemes and - shall we call them traps?
Oh, well, perhaps:
Biology and sex and motor rides,
Gardens in moonlight, the jazz, the little dinner, the bush picnic, the surfing
  party and many things besides
If you are really never out to catch
(Not to say snatch)
A noble husband, then - wait a minute,
Aha! I knew there must be some catch in it!
Of course, a sudden thought,
He never IS a husband till he's caught!. . .
Let me retaliate,
And boldly state:
A spinster is mistaken in supposing
That any man, no matter how imposing,
How brave, how true, how noble, how devout
A smany of us are, without a doubt
Is out
To catch a wife.
Not - on - your - LIFE!
He's out to catch a maid.
The giddy blade!
To make her wife.  Believe it or ignore it,
But, sisters, this dull world's much better for it!

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Submitted on May 13, 2011

Modified on March 05, 2023

1:38 min read
120

Quick analysis:

Scheme AAABBCCDDEFGGHHIIIIIIJJGGKKLLMMNBNOOPGQRSSBBTTTUUVVGG
Closest metre Iambic tetrameter
Characters 1,662
Words 319
Stanzas 1
Stanza Lengths 53

Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis

Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis, better known as C. J. Dennis, was an Australian poet known for his humorous poems, especially "The Songs of a Sentimental Bloke", published in the early 20th century. Though Dennis's work is less well known today, his 1915 publication of The Sentimental Bloke sold 65,000 copies in its first year, and by 1917 he was the most prosperous poet in Australian history. Together with Banjo Paterson and Henry Lawson, both of whom he had collaborated with, he is often considered among Australia's three most famous poets. While attributed to Lawson by 1911, Dennis later claimed he himself was the 'laureate of the larrikin'. When he died at the age of 61, the Prime Minister of Australia Joseph Lyons suggested he was destined to be remembered as the 'Australian Robert Burns'. more…

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