The Wonders of the One Pound Note

Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis 1876 (Auburn) – 1938 (Melbourne)



Brothers!
You .... with but a sixpence in your pocket, and you with half a 'quid,' and
  you with a solid bank balance, and sundry others;
Let not the cares of money e'er oppress you.
Today I would address you
Upon the wonders of the one pound note
And in the words that someone one day wrote
Across its face,
I trust my words will not be out of place.

Have you e'er given our pound note a glance -
When you have had a chance?
Artistic, ain't it?
I wonder what aesthete they got to paint it?
Doesn't its face attract you, and its smile
Lure you to love and fondle it a while -
The brief while that 'tis with you?  Don't you feel
It has a certain - shall we say - appeal?
And, have you ever
Marvelled at all that intricate and clever -
That wonderful arrangement of the 'ones'
That pop up in tne most unexpected places?
There are so many there
That, just to count them, makes you feel almost a millionaire.
And have you ever noticed how its face is
Adorned with divers writings in quaint style?
Brothers; those writing often make me smile.
Is it indeed a sin to copy such?
It doesn't matter much.
But, as a writer, I'm interested in the subject, and up to the time those few
  lines were indited
I've never heard that note was copyrighted.
But, still, why need we quarrel
About that matter?  But what I have been trying to say all this time is that I
  consider that the pound note, beloved though it be by all classes of the
  community, is, in some senses, highly immoral
For why?
It tells a lie.
What does it say?
'I (the Commonwealth treasurer) promise to pay
'One pound in gold' -
(Oh brothers!  How can such vain things be told?)
'Upon demand' (he prints DEMAND in 'caps.')
But will he pay? . .  Perhaps!
Why, brothers?  Why?
Go up and try,
Go up into the lordly treasuree
And ask to see
The Treasurer, and there and then unfold
The tale of your dire need for gold.
The man won't dare to look you in the face.
Demand (as he invites you to), insist, reason, argue, shout, yell your demand
  at him, and he'll probably have you kicked out of the place.
Now, brothers, is that fair?
I know there was a catch in there somewhere.
So next time that you Bills and Bens, and Hals and Toms amd Dicks and Timothys
  and Thomases
Kid yourselves that you are well off, consider, it is not wealth, splosh,
  spondulicks, brass, beans, dough that you possess; but merely a pocketful of
  worthless promises.
The man won't recognise that note: he hates it;
Yet gaols the flatterer who imitates it.

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Submitted on May 13, 2011

Modified on March 05, 2023

2:24 min read
122

Quick analysis:

Scheme AXABBCCDD EEFFGGHHIIXJKKLGGMMBNNOPXOPPQQRRSSPPIXRRDXDKKALMXJFF
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 2,443
Words 472
Stanzas 2
Stanza Lengths 9, 52

Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis

Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis, better known as C. J. Dennis, was an Australian poet known for his humorous poems, especially "The Songs of a Sentimental Bloke", published in the early 20th century. Though Dennis's work is less well known today, his 1915 publication of The Sentimental Bloke sold 65,000 copies in its first year, and by 1917 he was the most prosperous poet in Australian history. Together with Banjo Paterson and Henry Lawson, both of whom he had collaborated with, he is often considered among Australia's three most famous poets. While attributed to Lawson by 1911, Dennis later claimed he himself was the 'laureate of the larrikin'. When he died at the age of 61, the Prime Minister of Australia Joseph Lyons suggested he was destined to be remembered as the 'Australian Robert Burns'. more…

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