Buried My Daughter

Buried my daughter 1 year today,
My lips have no words to say,
so I let my ink bleed on my notes,
the syrupy liquid encases, coats.

Like my tears, dripping from my eyes,
like when I fell in the shower, as she slipped through my thighs,
miscarried my poor little girl,
body rejected my womb's pearl.

I scrambled to my knees, afraid to touch,
I was scared the tiny thing would shrivel to dust,
her bloody face, her closed eyes,
I wondered if they were the color of the sky.

Buried her in the ground, in a coffin the size of a shoebox,
buried her with the hats I had made, the dresses, the socks.
My poor angel, lying in the crusty earth,
I hope you know how much you are worth.

I visit her grave every so often, and kneel by her cross,
I beg for her forgiveness, and plead to God of my loss,
I wet the earth with my tears, and place flowers on her grave,
My sweet little girl, you are so brave.

What color would your eyes be, your hair?
Sometimes I think I see you smiling there.
How happy your smile, do you like to play?
Or do you make faces at strangers to keep them away?

I buried my daughter one year today,
Wish I could bring her back here with me some way,
Hold her little hand, kiss her small face,
let her feel the warmth of a motherly embrace.

Oh, sweetheart, I buried you one year today,
my heart is too tired for my lips to say,
but I'll write down my ache and my love,
while you play in heaven up above.