Blind and Afraid

Angela Crabtree 1982 (maine)




Blind and Afraid

I'm blind to what's in front of me. I'm a fool for being afraid to give u a chance. I'm afraid of what could be. I'm scared to let you see who I really am. I'm afraid if I give you my all I will fail. I'm afraid of true happiness. I'm afraid u won't love me if you really truly know who I am. I'm afraid if I fail you, you will leave me. I'm scared to let you beyond my armor. To let you inside my life and my chaos. I'm afraid to let you see my vulnerability. I'm afraid I won't be strong enough for you. That you may see me as being truly weak. I'm afraid you will see me as something I am not. To let my true light shine through is terrifying to me. I'm afraid you won't be able to handle me and my life. That you won't be able to understand how I feel when I'm feeling it. I look at things through a different light than most. I'm afraid you will fall in love with me and I won't be able to return it in the same way. I'm afraid I will do something so horrible you might never be able to forgive me and if I've let you in already I'm afraid it will kill me.

By: Angela M. Crabtree
 October 23, 2011
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Submitted by angelac.31848 on September 14, 2013

Modified on March 05, 2023

1:18 min read
8

Quick analysis:

Scheme X A AX
Characters 1,116
Words 236
Stanzas 3
Stanza Lengths 1, 1, 2

Angela Crabtree

Angela Crabtree is a woman in long-term recovery who started writing in 1996 as a form of emotional release. She uses her life experiences as inspiration for pieces. Angela believes in her ability to draw you into the emotion behind the poem. Angela believes in giving back to her community by advocating for those who need it. She is a member of the MaineMOM Advisory Council. She has done Training with Maine’s Department of Health and Human Services (DHHS) Office of Behavioral Health OPTIONS (Overdose Prevention Through Intensive Outreach, Naloxone, and Safety) program. Angela is a mom, aunt, sister, daughter, student, and more. She believes in helping professionals understand the disease of addiction and how it works. She has faced stigma and unfair treatment in active use and recovery. Her passions are photography, writing, spending time with her family, and art. She continues to display integrity despite the stigma she faces. more…

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