Beyond Return

I'm on the edge, can you smell my pain?
It stinks like a rat in the filthy rain.

I'm balancing, leaning, falling forward,
Piverting backwards, no-one's calling.

I can't let go and make that fall,
Yet no-one hears my silent call.

I need assistance,
My instincts fail,
My conscience has left me to no avail.

The breeze blows hot yet leaves me with ice,
I ignored the gypsies selling advice.

The heavens are opening, yet it is my hell that draws close,
Taking away what I more than need most.

The hand that holds me, leads me to safety,
Do I know what you want?
 Possibly...
 Maybe.

I'm indecisive with lifes small points,
I ache from my eyes to my every joint.

I want for the quiet, flowers and field,
Transfixed by the sound of my one pulse beat.
I have my courage, I have my fear,
I have the knowledge I don't like it here.

Again, again, I'm wasting time,
I'm losing more hours of unfulfilled life.

Has destiny failed me with cupids arrow?
Or has sadness excelled me with devestating sorrow?

I'm on the edge, can I go back?
Slip right under the bottom of the pack?

I want for smies, to laugh and play.
I want them to be mine to keep all day.

I hold these thoughts and dreams I left,
I take them with me.....
 standing on the edge.