Another Face in the Crowd

I love it; I hate it,
I don't know what I want.
I know it won't do much for me,
It'll just leave me clueless and gaunt.

Just please understand me.
I didn't mean to hurt you.
I want to stop this horrid habit.
Believe me, I try; that is the truth.

I attempted everything in my power
In order to get myself out of this mess,
But nothing worked out for me;
Nothing helped, I have to confess.

I'm so sorry I put you through this.
I wish I could take back everything I did.
Is there something, anything I can do
to pay for every last tear you shed?

This is unfortunate for me
That I got caught up in drugs and charms.
I made the wrong friends and the wrong choices
Which put me in the line of fire to harm.

I don't feel like I'm here with you right now.
All those days I only feel partially alive.
I'm always out of it.
It is quite obvious when I'm high.

If only I could take back everything I did.
I know I'll never be the same.
The life altering choices I made
Screwed up my life and made me insane.

This entire thing was a terrible mistake.
I want it; I desperately need help now.
I know I can never fix what I did.
All I did was become another face in the crowd.