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An Orphanes Memory

Humiliation, terror, and fear were our daily feelings,
Screaming in our faces was normal so were the beatings,
Stripping us of our dignity and then filling our empty hearts with self doubt,
Anyone who argued would be sent to the bathroom to kneel and have their arms stretched out,
 And we stayed in those positions for countless hours,
Never ever releasing tears of sorrow,
For tears were a sign of weakness and was not acceptable,
We were scared small children constantly fearful,
For you were a ticking time bomb waiting to explode,
Your words were bullets to the heart you would shoot then reload,
And my heart just like theirs is deeply scared and won't ever heal,
For starvation was a great way of using us like skipping three days worth of meals,
You were a heartless b*tch for that I will never forgive you,
You shoved Oksanas head down the toilet though she had no clue,
As to what was going on you didn't even ask her,
Then you stripped us of our clothes and made us stand outside in the middle of winter at night,
I hid in the shadows hoping to be completely out of sight,
And at age four I wanted God to take my pathetic life,
Was done with sorrow tribulations and strife,
Every night I would shove that pillow sheet down my throat hoping to suffocate from it,
We all felt we were being sufficed by fear in my perspective,
The sh*t you put us through I just now can talk about,
Though some secrets are locked deep in my heart never meant to be talked about,
Just know even though it's been ten years I will never forget,
I understand that's life and it's a world that's imperfect,
But if it's hell we're I most go to find you know I will,
And ill torture you like you did us by making us stand still,
While you screamed at us treating us every night,
Hell was now when ever even in daylight,
My life wasn't hard just one that was less desirable,
The things you did were horrendous and unthinkable,
One day you'll stand before the ultimate judge and face your crime,
I give it to the Lord now for He said"vengeance is Mine"
But this hatred spreads in my heart like a cancer,
For I have questions of my past but no answer,
So I wait till one day I get to see you and get the truth,
As to what made you horrifically abuse the youth,
What was it maybe I will never know,
Just know the past because of you is sure hard to let go,
But through it all I hope to mature and grow.

May22th 2012
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Submitted on June 23, 2012

2:20 min read
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Sasha Fisher Claim this poet

my name is sasha fisher, a 17 year old guy with a crazy passion for laying pieces of my heart down on the page, i love it when the ink from my pin punctures the cotten page and bleeds new words, im adopted from a russian orphange where i lived for seven years, alot of unthinkble things happended there thats where i get my passion and love for expressing all those thoughts that wait to explode into anther poetic rhyme! thankyou for reading i hope you enjoy my poems, God bless more…

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    "An Orphanes Memory" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 26 Sep. 2021. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/65741/an-orphanes-memory>.

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