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Addiction.

My environment has ruined my peace.
Everything around me is destroying me.
Until I met my best friend.
This drug that has no end.
This drug that seperates me from reality
And from what I believe
And makes me dream
That I am free
And takes me places I have never been
And made me believe I had a friend.

I wanted it and would use it to laugh
Use it to smile and progress in my crafts
Have a good time instead of crying in bed
Enjoying a buzz without thoughts in my head.

Where are you my friend?
I can't find you, now they're saying that
I don't have money to afford you.
Where is some, I can get it I swear I can.
I'll do anything across the land.
I'll sell my body, I'll... steal.
Just do not bring me to what is real.
I know I haven't showered in months or days.
I know I've been evil in all my ways.

But you help me not feel the guilt and pain.
You make me feel as if I'm not insane.
Not a care in the world can take me away
Please don't leave me, why won't you stay.

Ugh.. this hurts so bad, I'm drowning inside.
Why is this man prying between my thighs?
God says I'm sacred what am I doing?
What is this lifestyle I'm pursuing?
Get off of me! But I need my friend.
I lost my family, my career is bent.
People say I'm nothing, so here I will stay.
Yes, you got me... I am your prey.

I don't feel good, I'm worse than before.
I don't feel satisfied anymore.
But my body hurts and I'm all alone.
Here is my friend! He found my throne!

I am the Queen of my kingdom
The woman of his dreams
The model of front page magazines
My skin is smoothe
My hair flows like the wind
I am amazing and there is no end.

I look in the mirror of a subway station.
I'm all alone, I don't own a nation.
My hair is ripped out
I haven't ate in days
I'm depressed at myself
And my selfish ways.

What have I become?
I'm worthless with you.
You betrayed me, my friend
I hate what you do.

Friends do not do this
They don't sell me a dream.
They help me endure
So I'll recieve the finer things.
Friend, leave me now
And do not look back.
I don't care if you're crack
And signed me to a contract
To release my soul
My freedom to you.

I am stronger than this.
I am not a drug.
My body was fine without you
All I need is love.
I can love myself
And I know God loves me too.
So even though this hurts
I'll be fine without you.
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Submitted on August 28, 2013

2:31 min read
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Lanelle Taylor Claim this poet

My name is Lanelle Taylor , I love to write. Usually because I'm a peacemaker outside of writing and do not express myself much especially if I think that it wouldn't make the situation any better, so I would write to escape. I apologize if my poetry is long, repetitive, or doesn't make any sense what so ever. It's more emotional than factual. ♥ Thank you for taking time out of your life to read and criticize. I try my best to say thank you to all the comments. Love all you poets out there, keep up the good work.Live . Love . Laugh . more…

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    "Addiction." Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 26 Sep. 2021. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/65181/addiction.>.

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