addiction

Addiction
 By: Heather Nichole Main
 A.K.A. Snoopy
 Dedicated to anyone going through a hardship

I was addicted to sex
Addicted to drugs
What would I become addicted to next
Oh of course fallen for those hard core thugs

Hanging with the wrong groups
First it was the alcohol and the weed
Then it was jumping through all kinds of hoops
Just to get the meth and crack I would want and need

Addicted to self mutalation to see myself bleed to take away all the pain that was driving me insane
Addicted to food I cant stop eating, no matter what kind of mood I am in I’m so depressed I should have stayed after church last night for the meeting

I was addicted to stealing so I could support my drug addiction
So I did not have to deal with the feeling of depression all the time it took 4 theft charges in the course of a year to put me in check I became a nervous wreck my way of life caused me so much friction with my family and me grandma had kicked me out and did not want to see me I thought lovely the one person that always loved me unconditionally Its only by the Grace of GOD that I am not dead or in prison so I have decided to let down my façade I had this vision that Mike and I would be together forever may he rest in peace I was adopted by his aunts and I promise I will be the best niece I can be Life don’t always work out the way you hope it will you find ways to cope that don’t involve dope of any kind I pray that I do my best in everything I go through
I listen to all these different songs and it makes me think about mike and wanting and needing him back here where he belongs and I do care how long it takes me to lose this weight losing all 255 pounds will be so great wipe the slate clean and I am in no way shape or form ready to date I want to get toned and get lean and feel alive and get stoned off of life and GOD I WILL SIRVIVE I have already endured so much I want to be and look hot and have heads turn my way for all the right reasons not cuz im the biggest thing around it took longer than over night to gain all this so I cant get down just keep taking my meds and pray that I can be happy and love myself some day say no to any one night stand that tries to come my way cuz im not that way anymore I just need to take GODS hand and he can lead me and I will follow I know that I am dirt poor but I am rich at heart I don’t need sex you can take your money and shove it where the sun don’t shine yeah laugh think your funny cuz im done with you Im done being a whore I know that it is rough I can make it I am tough GOD has so much love to show me never smoke, shoot, or do another line again Just like Eminem says im NOT AFRAID GOD has a plan he will no longer be betrayed by me GOD please forgive me for all my sins THE GAME IS OVER NOW THAT I AM SOBER I WILL