My Epitaph



Oh, praise me now if you would please
My soul with soothing flatteries.
Praise with my living clay agrees.
'Tis sweet, I vow.
Give me kind words while I can feel
The modest blushes gently steal,
What time my virtues you reveal.
Oh, praise me now!

For, when the vital spark has fled,
No matter what kind words are said,
I'll simply go on being dead
And take no heed.
Or if, perchance, beneath the clay,
I hear some kindly critic say,
'He was a boshter'in his day!'
'Twere hard indeed.

'Twere bitter hard to be confined,
Gagged by grim Death, while fellows kind
Call my good qualities to mind,
And softly sigh.
I vow I'd writhe within my bier,
And strive to croak at least, 'Hear, hear!'
For I have ever prized that dear
Right to reply.

And, when at last I meet my doom
And moulder in the chilly tomb,
Gaunt Death might play within the gloom
 Who knows what pranks.
My very skeleton would squirm
To hear, on my behalf, some worm
Or some unlettered grave-yard germ
Returning thanks.

Then, if you're keen on praising me,
I'd rather be alive to see
And hear and feel the flattery,
And know 'tis true.
And when I rise to make reply
I fain would droop a modest eye
And by my halting, speech imply
It is my due.

I do not want a monument.
Why should good money so be spent?
Nay, put it out at ten per cent.,
And when you save
Enough to purchase goodly fare,
Then spread me out a banquet rare.
No gift's appreciated there,
Within the grave.

Oh, praise me now while I am here;
In my attentive living ear
Pour adulation; never fear
 I mind the row.
I love you harp upon
Those dulcet strings.  Play on, play on!
Do not delay until I'm gone.
 But praise me now!

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Submitted on May 13, 2011

Modified on March 05, 2023

1:37 min read
92

Quick analysis:

Scheme AAABCCCB DDDEFFFE GGGHIIJH KKKLMMML NNNOHHHO XPPQRRRQ IIJXSSXB
Closest metre Iambic tetrameter
Characters 1,601
Words 320
Stanzas 7
Stanza Lengths 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8

Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis

Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis, better known as C. J. Dennis, was an Australian poet known for his humorous poems, especially "The Songs of a Sentimental Bloke", published in the early 20th century. Though Dennis's work is less well known today, his 1915 publication of The Sentimental Bloke sold 65,000 copies in its first year, and by 1917 he was the most prosperous poet in Australian history. Together with Banjo Paterson and Henry Lawson, both of whom he had collaborated with, he is often considered among Australia's three most famous poets. While attributed to Lawson by 1911, Dennis later claimed he himself was the 'laureate of the larrikin'. When he died at the age of 61, the Prime Minister of Australia Joseph Lyons suggested he was destined to be remembered as the 'Australian Robert Burns'. more…

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