A father with depression

An illness in my father
that changed him on the inside
i dont remember before it
but i saw the true him hide
i saw the way it was a challenge
to just get out of bed
i found it hard to understand
what was going through his head
when he complained about not having
enough money to get by easy
but i was confused because he
had no job, surely it would be breezy
if he did, then i life would be
more comfortable and less stressful
i didnt tell him how i felt;
i knew it would be unsuccesfull
i felt the way he found it difficult
to be interested in my stories
he got angry quick, never listened
and just watched films; that were usually gorey
he never really understood me
it didnt seem like he tried to
it got me angry, got me upset
i remember i cried too
i loved him lots, even though
i didnt know he was ill
he couldnt cope with going through life
without taking pills
obviously i was only young
i founf it hard to understand
especially when no one told me
there was something seriously wrong with dad!