Ignoramus

Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis 1876 (Auburn) – 1938 (Melbourne)



What crass, abysmal ignorance!  Forlorn!
Despite his looks, the man must be half-witted!
They gasped for air; they gazed on him in scorn,
And tried to think of epithets that fitted.
Clown!  Dolt!  Unlettered oaf!  And yet, some spark
Of clear intelligence seemed in his bearing.
Men called him clever!  But his one remark
His only one - had left them gaping, staring!

Long had they argued: first this one, then that,
Sedately, quietly, gravely polemic.
No voice was raised; each had the subject pat
A weighty matter, almost academic.
But he had said no word; but sat and read
A book by Einstein, while the rest disputed,
A hand supporting his fine, massive head;
And seemed to be all that he was reputed.

And still they talked and talked; till some one stopped,
Searching for words, and so the thread was broken.
Then he looked up; and then the bomb was dropped
As, joining the discussion, he had spoken.
His long white finger marking still his place
Upon the page he read, the question rolling
Prim and precise, he said, with smiling face:
'Excuse me, but - er - what IS body bowling?'

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Submitted on May 13, 2011

Modified on March 05, 2023

58 sec read
110

Quick analysis:

Scheme ABACDEDE FGFGHCHB IJIJKEKE
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 1,073
Words 197
Stanzas 3
Stanza Lengths 8, 8, 8

Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis

Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis, better known as C. J. Dennis, was an Australian poet known for his humorous poems, especially "The Songs of a Sentimental Bloke", published in the early 20th century. Though Dennis's work is less well known today, his 1915 publication of The Sentimental Bloke sold 65,000 copies in its first year, and by 1917 he was the most prosperous poet in Australian history. Together with Banjo Paterson and Henry Lawson, both of whom he had collaborated with, he is often considered among Australia's three most famous poets. While attributed to Lawson by 1911, Dennis later claimed he himself was the 'laureate of the larrikin'. When he died at the age of 61, the Prime Minister of Australia Joseph Lyons suggested he was destined to be remembered as the 'Australian Robert Burns'. more…

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