How she became resilient

For many years I have yearned for the girl I was meant to be
Before they put they filthy hands on me
Before my home was torn with screams
Words of hatred bouncing off the walls
Whilst silently I ripped at the seams
My leg would shake and inconsolable quake of fear in my chest
Cold air making my body shiver and vibrate
But I had to stay calm, I was forced to be strong I had a little sister to protect
Before I was ten I tried to take my life
Each time I tried I would awake confused
But God refused
By the time I was 11 I had demons in my head
Because of that I never feared imaginary monsters below my bed
I became the monster eyes cold as ice
My walk exudes power
I stand as tall as a tower
When I carry the universe in my head
And the world on my shoulders
If anyone has to stand before me
Eye to eye
Would the see that I have lived and died a thousand times?
Or would they see that I am the eye of the storm?
Like a flower I have wilted
My petals fall like bullets
The girl I was got me through hell
The woman I am wants to go back and hold that girl
She never got to live
Only survive, barely keeping her head above water
I don’t want to survive anymore
I just want to live instead of feeling half alive
Because of that girl I am this strong
I say this with a heavy heart
I wear my pain for the world to see
It makes me braver than most could ever be
I wear my scars because I am a work of art