Talking to Myself

The night we last met
It was over a call on the internet

Your eyes never raised to the screen
Felt like real life left on seen

Finding ways to distract yourself
cause why would you care ’bout someone else

When was our last true conversation?
Seems like forever ago, left me in isolation

I try to ask you how it’s going
You drink a beer and say, “it’s going”
Now I’m hiding my face, it’s a warning
But sure, you can ask, “Wanna sneak out? it’s only 1 in the morning”

Looking back at facetime call logs
I feel my eyes getting torn out with claws
They were filled with random topics and inside jokes
Yet when we facetime now, I kinda wish you would choke

I’m crying out for help but you don’t see it
I’m telling you I hurt but you ignore it
You’re the reason I’m hurt, why make things worse and avoid it
I’m talking to myself, and i guess you’re good with it

We called everyday, then got fucked up to never
And when we try again, you brush it off like whatever

This time I can’t forget the past
Fixed our mess by myself, the memories will last

The walls of my room listen better than you
They might not care but if I had to choose
I would pick the walls, they’d listen to what I’ve been through
While you tell old stories, mine will be brand new

I’m talking to myself at night, and I’m getting tired
Just let me know when I’m again what you desire