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Affianced to Agony



Alone without my confluence to Agony, frosted, departed and soulfully emory clothed to hold my newly founded glory of a precious seed, nurturing her with all I have, investing in this wonderful treasury.

I'm abused and discarded, a strength taken deep inside releasing upon my soul a dreaded stench, I'm lost without my afflicted misery.

Still intertwined to the drug in me which was with this spectre of a sentry, she layered traps of Bereavement like a slug for me to find, clutching to my kindred to shield our new born of this vicious cycle I'm chasing, my choices bonded to trauma of a dedication to fix these Demons I'm facing, chalices manifest a lost direction to more distasteful love that I miss tasting, imprisoned into the mind where I should of felt more freely.

Months of this torment didn't ground my soul to a more blissful direction, I followed her slug trail pounded by hail within her mindful jail, unsigned and unaligned, reassured the baby's ok I'm patiently dying inside, waiting to taste my drug again, waiting for her addiction to end, awaiting a certain doom carelessly.

I've lost hope but I keep my faith, everything inside is scared and had been hard raked, I'm a ghost in a shell living within my own hell, everyone can see this, no one truly believed I'll pass through this testament I've been given, I'm back to the basics and eating bread unleavened, exploring heaven awaiting the return to hell, she comes back scaly and bitter, mind is lost and spirit is frost, I can save this arc angel, I'll be her beneficiary.

Holding misery in my arms I'm feeling unearthly charmed, but alarmed, our song replays in dismay, hearing voices and walking in circles I know something is wrong, clutching the little one I watch, I'm shocked, she needs air and gives one final look at our family, she leaps to the concrete in blasphemy.

Blood covering her scales I wail, she's alive but not awake, I'm dying because she was already frail, if I released my little one to save her... It's my fault, I failed, the trauma bond multiplies as I cry to see her eye hollow inside because she lied, she didn't need air, she needed shivaree.

The newly found dedication consumed all of me, I'm going to save her no matter what, holding her hand all day as she withered in bed, praying for the coma to subside, she's finally moving, in this white room to believe, rock bottom is how addiction is weeded out, I've been rock bottoms blood relative for years, I am angelic not rebellious, I'll take this bull and remove the horns, she can no longer be scorned, because now I know with her finally awake smiling at me, she believes, I'm to be Affianced to Agony.
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Submitted on February 26, 2021

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Kenny Pariseau

Just started writing poems, after all the heartbreak in one sitting i had to endure, I now use this to remind me of the gloom and move on as a survivor more…

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