My Last Valentine

This is the shortest of stories
Longest story it felt as it was lived
His pretty lady he adored
Her sober nobody she would hold
Much tighter than a friend

Met through a screen
This broken soul connected Rather instantly
Two broken souls knew the other already
It seemed
Peering through each other
Windows to the souls,  relation to hurt
Strange, interesting and nice
She clicked yes
Here their story unfolds

For the pretty lady who had no man
This man had a smile hiding sad eyes
Began to give all that he was
For he had not much but a true heart
Worried maybe
His heart just not enough
For a heaven sent beauty as she was
He again felt
His broken soul was not enough
She was shining diamonds
He was a bucket of rust
Pretty Lady as shining moon
In the sky at night, him just rock and dust

This nobody had no clue
What was to come
Unbeknownst to him, confident
Sitting upright across a table for two

BLESSING!!! he quickly thought
Surely a BLESSING from heaven
And from the earth he also caught
Two BLESSINGS, one form of beauty
Two doves he imagined, one stone!
No rocks!

Fate or perhaps destiny
Together with love perhaps a reality
He quickly hoped the chance
A chance to embrace full body and soul
A chance at a future together
One lost or damaged, reverse the roles

No matter really, fate had decided
These two together, a chance to grow
Heal together, heal as one
They two humble souls

Fate forgot the seductive meeting
A place where you would never guess
A beautiful woman but a man
Control of urges?
Careful not to show
This beautiful woman probably unaware
How this broken man became awoke

Her most soft and jet black hair
Oh it's shining
Sexy, polite, petitte and seductive
Angel he sees before him
Doe's not, oh Lord
Seen his excitement below

Pretty Pretty Lady
Up at him she looks slowly
Immediately attracted
Begins a trance, a blink less stare
Both souls smiles showing

Beautiful green eyes he loves
Trapped, lost but good it feels
Never felt in his own dreams
Which he felt right then
Her lips look so sweet
A kiss he thought
Seal the deal

Unbeknownst nobody guy
To this Pretty Lady he was desired
This feeling of hope, a real chance
For a love both
Rare, exciting, gentle and wild

The beginning of the end
The end is not bittersweet
Or is it not bittersweet for one
Or both who knows
Secrets kept close
For one or both
One is more prone to show

The Pretty Lady sooned turned into ear
As her Lover who held her heart
She did his heart also
Called this undeserved Dear

Alot has happened from beginning to end
A man who drowned sorrows
Couldn't balance both family and alcohol
In the end lost sight
Lost control

Accused of cheating & choosing the sin
Over his own dream and hers
Just family, not intentional hurt
Those who mean more than his own life
Not realizing the wife
He should have wed
Told him more than once
Choose my Dear
Or our dream is dead

A perfect family
With boy and girl
Husband and Wife
Partners pictured perfect
Vision of photo frames all around
Finally, a peaceful loving life

Now sits a man torn in two
By a bottle in his hand
Thoughts of things of the past
Haunting but not new

He pleads for her to believe him
One last shot
5 months sober
Chooses his family over the sin

No rehabilitation,
restrictive facilities can change him
He needs not now
He finally chose to fold
On what she repeatedly told
His lost mind to lose
With her a family they will grow

But too far down
His hole has walls too high
She knows and pushes him to try
Climb Climb Climb
Until her voice has no tone
Quiet Quiet Quiet
Softly she steps back alone

Too late his Dear says
All hope has left town
I had hope but you gave up
So soon, I can't stay
For small hope
I have plans someday

With you are none and frowned
Walking away crying
Real Dear she still loves
Her Real Dear disappeared somehow

He has never stopped loving
His Pretty Lady, whom he dreams nightly
Talks to her in his sleep
Still feeling her next to him quietly

Only to awake
Beside him no angel
Angel of love running away
From him which mattered

Matters no more to her
Pretty angel traveled
Where she is no one knows
He follows in darkness
That Pretty Lady into shadows

Whether he is hers
Or she is his
It wouldn't matter
Never regretting loving her
Caring, spending time
Making love
Especially on vacation
In ma and step pa's travel camper

This sober mind has five months strong and running never letting down his guard
As he would take her advice daily
Appreciating her strength, intelligence, patience and power
There is no ryhme
It doesn't matter

He prays nightly for his Pretty Lady
To return to him
No matter how she comes she is eternally invited.

This man is me, sober, committed to life, planning of the future
Which she repeatedly reminded
When these two souls were together.

I now sit writing this on Valentine's Day
At night, thinking of her always!
Her love once again I think gone
Unless we can talk, be open
There is no return, no try again

For this beautiful pretty lady is my heart whether I am hers until the very end.

Knowing the real me but can't see
That man she loved everyday is too much too risk, bear or to just turn away

I hurt her and know we could have talked
She had her own issues so as I
No one is perfect
Worked on communication
As we went for a walk
 
In the end it does not matter
What mattered for me was to stay sober
To help her , ease her
To comfortably voluntarily to be open

I love you lovely and please forgive me
I want you to know I highly doubt
You will meet a man like me
Ever again not because of sin
Mistakes I made, I can't take back
But this heart I contain
Is different, completely seperate
From the pack

Thank you My Pretty Lady
You are the most beautiful and sweet
Caring and fun
Loving , patient and true
Perfect lover
Surely a good soul sent from above

I promise you had the power, strengrh
Biggest impact whether you see it or not
Just know these two years were not
Wasted but meant to be
For God knew you were the only
One who could get to me.

I will always love you
Maybe you will think about talking to me
Try and make things work, with your family.

Not now, today or anytime soon.
But maybe My Pretty Lady, My Dear
My Beautiful, wide gorgeous smiled
Angel when I fight and prove I am able
Meet together once more
In a different world
Come together and start anew
A book not finished, opened back up
Start to write a new chapter.

This Valentine's Day I hope you had a good one and if so, hope you had one with someone or no one
But remember to someone out here
You mattered!

My last Valentine ended February 2020
With no tears
This Valentine 2021
If I'm dead okay but
Unless its The Pretty Lady
For February 2020
No Valentine for Me ever
Year after Year after Year
Alone I will be happy
Until my end is complete
And I ascend.