1:12 pm

Wake up every morning and down a bottle of pills
Thats an exaggeration, but thats just how it feels.
Sedation with medication
Will cause the mind to go in repression,
Taking a turn to depression.
With random aggression.
So many unanswered questions.

Why has my brain failed me?
Or have I failed my brain?
Is this a lesson on residual pain?
Is this who I'm meant to be?
Is life really all that worth it?
Is this just a world full of regret?
Are there brighter days ahead to see?
Is this all that's left of me?

Its not about being suicidal,
Those days have passed, I just feel idle.
Swirling in the back of my head,
Trying to remember beauty isn't hard to find.
That positive thoughts aren't bad for the mind.
Its just sometimes I feel lost and dead inside
Thats easy to deal with,
Its the anxiety thats hard to hide.
And when depression creeps in,
I'm scared that I'll get bad again.
But I have to hang on to this new journey I've decided to begin.

Every day the sun shines
And I'm blessed with a home.
I'm never actually alone.
Even on gloomy days,
There's still things to praise.
Can't have sunshine without rain.

I have hope for ditching these pills one day,
But with this chaotic brain its hard to say.