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*Kotex Caper *

The 'Kotex' Caper....

Awe.... A nice peaceful calm sunny day.... (so I think)
As I set and ponder quietly along the way.
Quiet.... No one up. Just me you see....
Ahhhhhh I sigh, yawn, and stretch with content....
Not realizing Fate was a out to mess with me all hell bent
So I sip on my soda and turn on the TV placidly....

My daughter awakes with a start and no luck.
As her period with vengeance had struck...
So I hurry to the car for a kotex run you see....
When to my astomishment There is the tree....
My beautiful tree that has brought me years of glee...
Laying ontop of my car I decree...

So being the wise person that  I am
I grabbed the bike and off I ran.
I hit a pothole and over the bars I did flip
Now I have a terrible pinch in my hip....
So to continue upon my way as you may see
Broken tree, damaged car, bent bike, why me?

I rounded a curve - about got ran over by a truck....
I make it to the store finally by sheer luck...
As I hury to aisle six for a tampon emergency you see
I slip and fall over the mop Bucket SERIOUSLY.....
I pick myself up off the floor, just in time to get hit
As a shopper, cart in tow, round the corner, too quick.

I continued on my way and made it to aisle six
Just in time to witness some back woods Hicks
Guess what they did... I cried Noooooo. Too late...
They grabbed the last box of Kotex I state...
I approach them asking if I can buy that box instead...
BiG mistake. They kit me in the head. With Kotex I dread.

So after the BIG Kotex debate, and the police was called
No charges were filed to my relief. Thank God I bawled....
ALWAYS.... My Daughter is getting Always - THAT'S iT!!!
I AM going back home, going to bed, ending this day quick.
So I make it to the register. To my dismay. No Money I say.
Can this day get any worse? I stress. Don't challenge Fate.....

The lovely little ole couple, in line behind me, say I will pay...
Now I'm like -Thank You God. Filled with relief and on my way
I thank them and leave with my treasured ALWAYS...
I get a block from the store when to my dismay, the cops stop me...
After some questions, off to jail I go, I'm INNOCENT I plea
My daughters ALWAYS - purchased with a stolen card you see.

Now I need a lawyer, and Bail Money.... I decree....
A Go Fund Me account has been established you see...
With that said I pray a Blessed Day to thee....
The moral to my story TIs Sad....
If your child needs maxi pads send Dad!!!

ALL Rights Reserved
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Submitted by Eibhlinn on January 31, 2021

2:29 min read

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    "*Kotex Caper *" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 17 Sep. 2021. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/61294/*kotex-caper-*>.

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