Rate this poem:(0.00 / 0 votes)

My Agent

There is an uncomfortable surfacing of darkness when I think of you
Breaking through the shallows into a present mirage of sunshine.
Trials that left me wounded and empty.
Visons of you are so vividly etched in my mind,
like the engraved patterns of sulci in my brain.

Marks where your hands did not leave bruises,
But a tortuous imprint of your presence.
Fingers sliding along the underwire of my bra,
Resting on the skin over my heart.
It grips down hard and will not let go.

You did not want me to babysit your little sister,
You did not need to talk about homework.
It was a game of cat and mouse and foolishly I followed.
To think you actually cared for me, ha!
Such ignorant stupidity

My best friend was your main source of love,
Which made me jealous and green.
It is true fantasies of us filled my dreams,
Muddy dog walks filled with overpriced frothy cappuccino’s and school gossip,
Chocolate sprinkles masking the bitterness of youth.

But when you moved into my bed and lay with me like you did her
I moved your hands from my waist.
And when you touched me like you touched her
Hands slipping past the elastic pink trim of my pants.
My fantasies did not give you permission to continue.

You pulled my bony hips closer and pushed it up against me.
And the more I resisted the more you grew in strength,
Like a boy seizing his rightful place in a man’s world.
A rite of passage for you to decide what I need, what I want.
No, what I wanted was not this.

Now my lovers gentle and wholly loving advances remind me of you.
I have not talked to my best friend in a decade because of you.
I drown in the guilt of my feeble weakness against you.
I do not believe I deserve the morsels on my fork after you.
Why did you decide my fate for me?
Font size:

Submitted on January 29, 2021

1:40 min read

Discuss this Em Island poem with the community:



    Find a translation for this poem in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)


    Use the citation below to add this poem to your bibliography:


    "My Agent" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 8 Dec. 2021. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/61234/my-agent>.

    Become a member!

    Join our community of poets and poetry lovers to share your work and offer feedback and encouragement to writers all over the world!

    Browse Poetry.com


    Are you a poetry master?

    Who wrote the poem "Fire And Ice"?
    • A. Gerard Manley Hopkins
    • B. Robert Frost
    • C. Edgar Allan Poe
    • D. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

    Our favorite collection of

    Famous Poets