War with my Anxiety

It takes over me without notice
My heart's beating fast
Sweat drips down my forehead
Just breath it'll pass.
My chest is so heavy
How long will this last?
My body immobilized
Like a bone in a cast.

These thoughts, I can't focus
It feels beyond my control.
This constant state of panic
My peace is what it stole.
The tremors, the outburst
its taking its toll.
The crying, the anger,
the crumbling of my soul.

Some days I don't feel like myself
Like I'm watching behind bars.
A different version of me takes over
bruised and filled with scars.
And then it gets so dark inside
Like a night without stars.
As if someone placed over my eyes
a blanket made of tar.

Thus far, I have managed
with the notions of propriety.
Observing all that battle with
the standards of society.
Surrounded by loved ones that
struggle with sobriety.
And I'm just here,
going to war with my anxiety.