Confused

I sit here in silence, thinking of you
Of the words that you said
And the words that you say.
Asking to give you my heart once again
But you must have forgotten,
You threw it away.

Still I can't deny what I'm trying to hide,
A love and a hate that I can't figure out.
Laughing out loud yet I'm crying inside
For a lingering love that my soul cannot doubt.

Look at the fear and the tears in my eyes,
From hearing the whispers of love in my soul.  
Yet I'm screaming out words
That my heart just denies
Cause I know down inside that I haven't let go.

Not a day goes by that I don't think about you.  
My mind craves your memory,  
My soul craves your touch.
 I feel so cold and alone here without you.
 Never before have I suffered this much.

And some say I’m crazy for feeling this way
But I needed you then
And I’m needing you now.
I’m aware of the price that I’ll probably pay
 But your touch is a thing
That I can’t live without.

So you look at me now
And it’s there in your eyes.
 And I wish for a dream.
That will never come true.
I remember the pain and the tears that I cried
But I look in your eyes and forget what to do.

My mind is still screaming.
That I should not love you.
Urging my arms to push you away.
Yet my warm lips are silent.
To sit and think of you
 And I hold back the words
That I’m longing to say.

So I sit here in silence.
Thinking of you.
And the words that you said,
And the words that you say.
Confused with the hate
That I swore was so true.
And still I don’t know
Why I love you this way.