Strictly Germ-Proof

Arthur Guiterman 1871 (Vienna) – 1943



The Antiseptic Baby and the Prophylactic Pup
Were playing in the garden when the Bunny gamboled up;
They looked upon the Creature with a loathing undisguised;
It wasn't Disinfected and it wasn't Sterilized.
  
They said it was a Microbe and a Hotbed of Disease;
They steamed it in a vapor of a thousand-odd degrees;
They froze it in a freezer that was cold as Banished Hope
And washed it in permanganate with carbolated soap.
  
In sulphureted hydrogen they steeped its wiggly ears;
They trimmed its frisky whiskers with a pair of hard-boiled shears;
They donned their rubber mittens and they took it by the hand
And 'lected it a member of the Fumigated Band.
  
There's not a Micrococcus in the garden where they play;
They bathe in pure iodoform a dozen times a day;
And each imbibes his rations from a Hygienic Cup,
The Bunny and the Baby and the Prophylactic Pup.
  
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Submitted on August 03, 2020

Modified on April 03, 2023

47 sec read
22

Quick analysis:

Scheme AABB CCDD XXEE FFAA
Closest metre Iambic heptameter
Characters 854
Words 155
Stanzas 4
Stanza Lengths 4, 4, 4, 4

Arthur Guiterman

Arthur Guiterman was an American writer best known for his humorous poems. more…

All Arthur Guiterman poems | Arthur Guiterman Books

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