Anticipation (Second Chance)

Anticipation is not a friend of mine.
Got me all excited, expecting things to turn out fine.
It's like pushing Water up a Waterfall and expecting not to spill a Drop,
Smiling at the thought of what will happen once I reach the Top.
It's a struggle with hopes that it will eventually pay off, but sometimes the pay off isn't worth the struggle, almost like an amateur clown using knives to juggle.
I guess you are the knives and I am that clown,
who began his Anticipation with a smile,
but sadly ended up with a frown.
I can apologize until I'm blue in the face, and being black will make that quite a chore,
but if I keep a steady pace, hopefully I will get another chance to open your Door.