I do what I want

I always do what I want.

As long as they are ok with it.
As long as mom gave me permission and Dad is proud.
Alys doesn’t matter so much but in the end, she has to be ok with it.

Otherwise, I can’t sleep on her couch when I visit.
And then there is that voice that just will not shut up.
And actually, it is more like a feeling than a voice.

When the other hippies talk about all the crazy things they’ve seen and heard I can’t relate.   I just say somehow I knew to go there. Somehow I knew to be here at this time. It just felt right.

And that voice I was talking about, I mean the feeling.

It guides me.

It was the one that told me to bring my toothbrush to the beach on the off chance I wouldn’t be coming back. It guided me to Sabena’s. To sitting this morning and letting the dull throbbing in my leg pulse until It was tired.

And after my whole body shuttered. I told her what I want with all my heart is to not feel the heaviness. She said
“breathe, It’s ok.”

I have a feeling it has something to do with when you were, 5 when you were 9 too. Kindergarten, and my first girlfriend.

I had to convince her to go, Mom made me jump through hoops just to go outside. I think she might have reluctantly handed me the phone when my nine-year-old girlfriend called.

The throbbing stopped, I feel a little lighter. I used the golden sword she gave me to cut the chord and get my power back.

And finally, I can do what I want.

More at : http://brendenpettingill.com/index.php/2017/12/03/i-do-what-i-want/