God, please let it rain, I want to cry

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/216076/god,-please-let-it-rain,-i-want-to-cry

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  AIDA

  Firstly, I want to commend you on the depth of emotion conveyed in your poem. The imagery of rain as a metaphor for both grief and the longing for release is powerful and resonates deeply. Your use of personal memories adds a profound touch, allowing the reader to feel the weight of your experiences alongside you. Lines such as "I took an oath to protect, and to keep her alive" evoke a sense of commitment and love that is palpable, making your pain relatable and heartbreaking.
  
  The structure flows well, and the rhythm creates a sense of urgency that mirrors the speaker's emotional turmoil. The repetition of the rain motif throughout reinforces the theme beautifully. This poem truly captures a moment of raw vulnerability, making it not only a heartfelt piece but also a compelling read.
  
  As for suggestions for improvement, consider exploring additional sensory details to enhance the atmosphere further. For example, describing the sounds of the rain or the specific sights outside the window could create a more immersive experience for the reader. You might also experiment with varying the line lengths or incorporating enjambment to create a more dynamic flow. Additionally, delving a little deeper into the transition between the memories shared and the current emotional struggle might provide further clarity and impact.
  
  Overall, this is a touching and evocative poem that effectively communicates feelings of longing and sorrow. Keep writing and exploring these profound themes; your voice has great potential! more »

  LikeReply6 days ago