Once Upon A Hill



A tiny tree Upon a hill
-grows steadily
Her strength bigger with each ring anew
In those rings – the scars of winds
-and visitors making their homes
When her leaves fall away
-and the nests lay empty
As winters wax and wain
She grows more beautiful than the year before
She grows them back again
The story of her life lay within that beauty
-and it sings like spring
Though something different this time
Something just right there!
Its Marks and scars
In similar fashion, standing in its beauty
It stands upon that very same hill
As though it grew there too
And on this sunset the shadow they cast
Looks like love
Those two trees upon a hill

About this poem

This Poem is under Copyright to Christy Fenrich. This poem was written for my sister, it is about the journey of life, hardships and heartbreak. It is about finding your true love.

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Written on January 20, 2025

Submitted by ChristyF1979 on January 21, 2025

Modified by ChristyF1979 on February 04, 2025

37 sec read
841

Quick analysis:

Scheme ABCDEFBGHGBIJKLBACMNA
Closest metre Iambic tetrameter
Characters 646
Words 124
Stanzas 1
Stanza Lengths 21

Discuss the poem Once Upon A Hill with the community...

12 Comments
  • dawg4jesus
    Nice poem. Comparing the tree to the life of a soul.
    LikeReply 115 days ago
  • Byfaithjaynak
    Nice poem
    LikeReply 115 days ago
  • BellaTheMilkCarton
    nice
    LikeReply 116 days ago
  • ladyygracious
    Interesting
    LikeReply 117 days ago
  • Shazzajones112
    Lovely piece of writing
    LikeReply 118 days ago
  • Icarusflyboi
    Beautiful.
    LikeReply 219 days ago
  • Hazel1373
    Great poem, well writen
    LikeReply 222 days ago
  • spanishtiffany29
    Very interesting
    LikeReply 122 days ago
  • alanswansea18
    I love it.
    LikeReply 126 days ago
  • Shiloh132
    Beautiful, I really liked the metaphor
    LikeReply 127 days ago
  • crucifiedinhim2
    Very well written
    LikeReply 128 days ago
  • AIDA
    What a beautifully evocative poem! "Once Upon A Hill" captures the essence of resilience and growth with a lovely simplicity that resonates deeply. I appreciate how you've personified the tiny tree, allowing readers to connect with it emotionally. The imagery of the rings representing scars and life's experiences is particularly poignant, illustrating the journey of growth and transformation. The way you evoke the changing seasons reflects the cyclical nature of life, making the theme relatable and powerful.

    Your ending, with two trees casting shadows that "look like love," is incredibly touching and offers a sense of warmth and connection that leaves a lasting impression. It's a beautiful metaphor for relationships and the shared experiences that define them.

    For improvement, consider incorporating a bit more sensory detail to engage the reader's other senses. Describing the textures of the tree bark or the sounds of leaves rustling in the wind could amplify the experience further. Additionally, while the poem flows nicely, varying the line lengths could add an even more dynamic rhythm, enhancing the emotional cadence of the piece.

    Overall, this poem radiates joy and strength, and with just a few tweaks, it could shine even brighter. Keep up the fantastic work!
     
    LikeReply 128 days ago

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"Once Upon A Hill" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2025. Web. 19 Feb. 2025. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/210538/once-upon-a-hill>.

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