Why Can't I?



Why Can’t I?

I don’t give a damn about you—
No, wait. That’s not true.
I shouldn’t give a damn,
but somehow, I still do—why?
Why can’t I stop loving you?

I want to cut ties, scream, “I hate you!”
But that would be a lie.

I close my eyes, and there you are—
Your lips, your smile,
The sharp lines of your tailored suit,
A silk tie, knotted to perfection,
Shoes polished, a mirror of your charisma.

The way you unbutton your shirt,
Roll your sleeves to bare your wrists.
Glance at your Franck Muller Vanguard Yacht Blue,
As if you can control time.

The way you waltz,
Lost in Beethoven's Symphony No. 3,
A flush blooms softly on your face,
Warmth lingers, tender, against the cool,
As the violins serenade the passion,
I thought we’d shared.

Each moment,
A dance between your grace and my regret.

You brush lint from your smoking jacket,
A subtle sweep, practiced, deliberate.
I miss your gentle touch,
Your breath, warm on my neck.
The way you lean back in your chair,
Fingers steepled in quiet reflection.

Your voice, sweet as honey,
Quiet as snow falling at dawn,
Saying, “You’re so beautiful.”
It was a lie, wasn’t it?
A lie—smooth as bourbon,
Burning all the way down,
Soft as velvet, night closing in.

I don’t give a damn about you—no, that’s not true.
I shouldn’t care about you, but I do.
And yet, here I am—
Still loving what I can’t have.
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Written on January 10, 2025

Submitted by dburriskitchen on January 10, 2025

Modified by dburriskitchen on January 13, 2025

1:29 min read
9

Quick analysis:

Scheme A BBCAB BA XXXDX XXBX XXXXDX XX EEXXXD XXXEDXX BBCX
Closest metre Iambic tetrameter
Characters 1,405
Words 298
Stanzas 10
Stanza Lengths 1, 5, 2, 5, 4, 6, 2, 6, 7, 5

DEBORAH BURRIS-KITCHEN

Deborah J. Burris-Kitchen, Ph.D., is a Professor of Criminology and Department Chair at Tennessee State University in Nashville. She is the author of Female Gang Participation (Edwin Mellen Press, 1997). In addition, she co-authored an article on racism in higher education in the College Student Journal (2000). Her publications include a book titled Short Rage: an autobiographical look at Heightism in America (2002). She has a book chapter (July 2010) titled Pathways to Prison: Implications for the Health and Mental Health in the African American Community in Handbook for African American Health Psychology: Evidence-based Treatment and prevention practices (edited by Robert Hampton & Ray Crowell); From Slavery to Prisons: A Historical Delineation of the Criminalization of African Americans (2010); a journal article titled Short Rage Revisited (2018); and Deviance and Control, Kendall and Hunt (2020) and a second edition of Deviance and Control was released by Kendall and Hunt in 2021. Dr. Burris-Kitchen has served as the research committee chair and Vice President of the National Organization of Short-Statured Adults (NOSSA). She is a member of Phi Kappa Phi. She has served as President of the Association of Humanist Sociology (AHS) and was a member of AHS for many years. She has also been a member of the American Society of Criminology and the American Sociological Association. Dr. Burris –Kitchen is an activist who fights against violence, racism, exploitation, greed, and capitalism. more…

All DEBORAH BURRIS-KITCHEN poems | DEBORAH BURRIS-KITCHEN Books

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