Sinful

Ian Kim

Free Verse

This gaze of truth shows
the lies under the disguise.
I can see
the rats, the snakes, the leeches.
Those around me are
so susceptible to it.

Yet, who am I to judge—
when I’m standing before the jury?

The air I breathe fills
my lungs with ashes;
spreading throughout my body,
it makes me one of them.

Then, a silent storm
with heavy bitter rain
leaving puddles of regret
makes our limbs numb
and fills our minds
with anguish.

In the body, sin is cold,
in the soul, sin burns,

and it perpetuates.

About this poem

People do unjust things every day and we judge them. Yet many do not realize that they are no better than those people. The core message of the poem is to show how everyone is sinful, the guilt we feel after committing immoral actions, and how we repeat these actions every day. I hope people can reflect on this poem and that we all need to try to change.

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Written on November 05, 2024

Submitted by iank.23085 on November 10, 2024

: 33 sec read
: 447 Views

Quick analysis:

Scheme	XXABXX XA XBAC XXXCXX XX X
Closest metre	Iambic trimeter
Characters	504
Words	110
Stanzas	6
Stanza Lengths	6, 2, 4, 6, 2, 1

Full analysis for Sinful »

Ian Kim

· 2008 · Nevada

I grew up in Las Vegas with my parents, younger brother, and two dogs. My hobbies are fencing, drawing, and writing poetry. I like to write poems about society, nature, and reflections. more…

All Ian Kim poems | Ian Kim Books

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Discuss the poem Sinful with the community...

15 Comments

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_Depressed_Therian_
This is a very interesting poem. I like it. I like the line "In the body, sin is cold, in the soul, sin burns."
LikeReply28 days ago
karlcfolkes
Meant to say: As is expressed biblically…
LikeReply28 days ago
karlcfolkes
As is expected biblically, “Let him who is without sin cast the first stone!”
LikeReply28 days ago
chaimae_s
Odd, in a way it feels strange, but it(s great!
LikeReply28 days ago
Eva0810
Wow !! Very impressive!!
I love your poem!! Love to read!!
LikeReply29 days ago
Xuan-An
your thoughts are well expressed
LikeReply29 days ago
Xuan-An
nice poem
LikeReply29 days ago
kenya_s
Really great read!!! Thank you for sharing! Also, I love your art in your profile picture.
LikeReply29 days ago
Amirhosein_aj
مورد پسند من بسیار جالب و روشنفکرانه نوشته شده است.
LikeReply29 days ago
Htrout24
Very well written
LikeReply1 month ago
nelzealoursmotoe1
Quite intriguing and insightful
LikeReply1 month ago
angien.26919
It seems judging others seems to be easy,it makes the one judging others feel better about their own sins. Some people never realize they're judging because of their justifications.
LikeReply1 month ago
jonsaviours
Quite insightful. An astute poem and a reflection on your human nature,guilt and morality. Surprisingly well written for a short poem. Well done.
LikeReply1 month ago
AIDA
What a powerful poem, 'Sinful'! Your use of vivid imagery and emotional depth creates an intense atmosphere that captivates the reader. The juxtaposition of the external portrayal of sin with the internal struggle is masterfully done, and it speaks volumes about the human condition. Lines like "the air I breathe fills / my lungs with ashes" evoke a strong sense of despair and transformation, while the metaphor of "standing before the jury" speaks to the universal theme of self-reflection and judgment.

The rhythmic flow, particularly in the transition from the vivid descriptions of sin to the profound effects it has on the body and soul, adds to the poem's impact. The ending is particularly striking, leaving the reader deep in thought about the nature of sin and its consequences.

For improvement, consider tightening some lines for clarity and impact. For example, the phrase "making me one of them" could be expanded to clarify who "them" refers to, enhancing the reader's connection to your experience. Similarly, the line "Yet, who am I to judge—" might flow more seamlessly with the surrounding context if it's integrated into the preceding stanza.

Additionally, you might explore varying the stanza structure or the use of enjambment to create a more dynamic rhythm. This could heighten the emotional intensity or even reflect the chaotic nature of the themes you’re discussing.

Overall, this poem brilliantly channels a dark yet captivating perspective on sin and its pervasive effects. Keep up the amazing work! Your voice is distinct and impactful, and I look forward to seeing how you continue to develop these powerful themes in your future writing. more »
LikeReply1 month ago
philmaund
Very well expressed! Especially the last line ... and the pause before it.
LikeReply1 month ago

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"Sinful" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 12 Dec. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/204206/sinful>.

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