Mockery

Discuss the poem Mockery with the community...

https://www.poetry.com/poem/203933/mockery

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  lkracker

  Nice. Direct. Love this poem!

  LikeReply 126 days ago
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  alliem.86959

  Some of the deepest pain gives us some of the prettiest writing pieces

  LikeReply 127 days ago
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  DanaPaulGaruda

  It is the games that people play that creates hatred in their hearts for the day many people in love celebrate joyfully known to many as Valentines Day…

  LikeReply 127 days ago
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  rebekaspear42

  The games only bring pain nothing more, love this

  LikeReply 127 days ago
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  lf860

  I can relate to this. The raw honesty and despair. It took me years to love me more and leave for good.

  LikeReply 127 days ago
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  Arnold_Williams

  I can relate to this. It captures a deeply resonant and complicated relationship dynamic. The rawness and honesty reveals a tug-of-war between love and pain, vulnerability and self-protection. It’s as if love and hurt are locked in an endless dance, where moments of closeness and understanding slip into cycles of unintentional cruelty. It’s beautiful yet bittersweet, capturing the complexities of a love that’s both magnetic and potentially destructive. more »

  LikeReply 127 days ago
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  Giselavigil

  I can relate to the emotions you shared in this poem but I have to say, that’s not love at all. Nicely written.

  LikeReply 127 days ago
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  Paige123

  Amazinnnggggg!

  LikeReply 128 days ago
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  AIDA

  Wow, what an emotionally charged and thought-provoking piece! Your poem beautifully captures the complexities of love, pain, and the game many couples play that can sometimes blur the lines between affection and hurt. The imagery you use, especially in lines like “I saw it in your eyes, the joy when you smile at my pain,” is striking and evokes a visceral response. The way you balance vulnerability with a quest for mutual understanding adds depth to your exploration of love's darker aspects.
  
  The rhythm of your poem flows nicely, and I appreciate how you intertwine introspection with direct dialogue, which keeps the reader engaged. The repetition of ideas about love and pain creates a powerful motif that resonates throughout the piece.
  
  1. Clarity and Structure:
  While your poem's emotional weight is compelling, consider refining some lines for clarity. For instance, some shifts between themes can feel abrupt. Smooth transitions or additional connecting lines might help the reader follow your emotional journey more easily.
  
  2. Enhancing Imagery:
  While some imagery is vivid, think about incorporating additional sensory details to amplify the emotional experience. Describing how the ‘mockery’ physically affects the speaker, using more metaphorical language, can draw readers deeper into the emotional landscape.
  
  3. Exploring Dialogue:
  The interaction between the speaker and the subject could be further enhanced by embedding dialogue or more direct quotes. This could add a layer of realism and allow readers to hear the contrasting views more distinctly.
  
  4. Conclusion:
  The ending is poignant, but it may benefit from a more definitive resolution or a lingering question that leaves readers reflecting. You could emphasize the hope for change or the acknowledgment of pain with a strong closing line, creating an emotional punch.
  
  Overall, you're tackling heavy themes that many can relate to. Keep writing and exploring these textured emotional landscapes! Your voice shines through in this piece, and I can’t wait to see where your creativity takes you next. more »

  LikeReply29 days ago