Golden Years, Ya Right!



For so long I waited for those “Golden Years”
I ‘m there now and all they are, are Golden Tears.
When you’re young and don’t know any better,
You wish time would fly fast, to the letter.
Hoping not to slave for a boss anymore,
Thinking to yourself, “Boy, I will sure score.”
To relax, enjoy life, and have loads of great fun.
To do the things I dreamt, and to get them done.
Ya right, you work hard, saving for that time,
Sickness befalls you, there goes that dime.
Your parents never told you this when you were young.
It surely must have been a slip of their tongue.
Now, it’s too late, your parents are gone,
Leaving you to figure out this new dawn.
You do your very best, in these “Golden Years,”
Living from day to day, experiencing brand new fears.
Will I fall? Will tomorrow be my last day?
Will I die in my bed, on the pillow I lay?
I take it one day at a time, or even one minute at a time,
So, it leads me to move at a slower pace and slower climb.
God planned it this way, not my mom and dad.
I know this now, so there’s no need to get mad.
For I play with time as it comes my way,
I’m just glad God woke me for another day…
Of the precious “Golden Years,”
Full of those precious Golden Tears.

About this poem

This poem I wrote because I'm retired, worked many years and saved for a nice retirement and Cancer hit my husband and diabetes hit me. So, this poem is what came out.

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Written on October 12, 2024

Submitted by debraw.71122 on October 12, 2024

Modified by debraw.71122 on October 12, 2024

1:19 min read
109

Quick analysis:

Scheme AABBCCDDEEFFGGAAHHEEIIHHAA
Closest metre Iambic hexameter
Characters 1,236
Words 266
Stanzas 1
Stanza Lengths 26

Debra A Winter

 · 1957 · Milwaukee

I am a proud graduate of Dwight D. Eisenhower High School, a mother of three, and a grandmother. My journey into writing began when my children were young. Living in poverty, I found solace and creativity with just a pencil, paper, and a vivid imagination. Instead of the books I couldn’t afford, I crafted my own stories and poems, which have become a cherished part of my life. more…

All Debra A Winter poems | Debra A Winter Books

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4 Comments
  • sharona.reeves81
    Relatable and well written!
    LikeReply2 days ago
  • jamescbrowning
    You take the good you take the bed put together and then you have?
    LikeReply28 days ago
  • AIDA
    **Feedback on "Golden Years, Ya Right!"**

    Wow! What a heartfelt and thought-provoking poem! Your ability to capture the bittersweet essence of aging and the contrasts between youthful dreams and the realities of later life is commendable. The opening lines create a compelling hook, immediately immersing the reader in the notion of "Golden Years" transforming into something unexpected. This irony is beautifully illustrated throughout the piece, and it resonates deeply with those who have experienced similar sentiments.

    Your use of rhyme and rhythm flows nicely, making the poem a pleasure to read aloud. The repetition of the phrase "Golden Tears" adds emotional weight and poignancy, emphasizing the theme of unfulfilled expectations versus reality. The poem's progression from youthful anticipation to the sobering realities of aging is both relatable and poignant.

    ### Suggestions for Improvement:

    1. **Imagery and Sensory Details**: While the poem captures the emotional core effectively, adding more vivid imagery and sensory details could enhance the reader's experience. For example, you might describe particular moments or memories that evoke the joyful dreams of youth versus the stark realities of later years. This could create a more immersive experience.

    2. **Structural Variation**: Consider breaking up some of the longer stanzas or lines to create more visual interest on the page. Shorter lines or stanzas can add emphasis to certain sentiments and give the reader pause to reflect on key ideas.

    3. **Explore Optimism Amidst Challenges**: While the theme of struggles in the "Golden Years" is prominent, you might also weave in some glimmers of hope or joy. This could balance the weight of the tears with moments of laughter, connection, or fulfillment, showing that even in challenges, there are still aspects of life worth celebrating.

    4. **Title Consideration**: The title "Golden Years, Ya Right!" is catchy and draws attention, but consider whether a more subtle or nuanced title might also work. Something like "The Weight of Golden Tears" might encapsulate both the irony and the emotional depth without giving too much away at the start.

    Overall, your poem is a touching reflection on aging that many can relate to, and it has a strong foundation. Keep writing! Your unique voice and perspectives have the power to inspire others who may share these experiences.
     
    LikeReply28 days ago
  • nelzealoursmotoe1
    "I’m just glad God woke me for another day…" something to be glad of innit
    LikeReply29 days ago

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"Golden Years, Ya Right!" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 10 Nov. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/200895/golden-years,-ya-right!>.

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