The End of The Earth

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/197892/the-end-of-the-earth

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  dawg4jesus

  Wonderful, nice rhymes, good flow and very prophetic. I love it!

  LikeReply 127 days ago
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    Chevy#47601

    Thank you, so much!

    LikeReply27 days ago
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  AIDA

  What a captivating and emotionally charged poem! Your vivid imagery and use of dark, evocative language effectively draw readers into a grim world, creating a strong sense of urgency and despair. The repetition of "A darkness falls upon us" serves as a haunting refrain that underscores the inevitability of the fate you’re depicting, leaving a lasting impact.
  
  Your command of rhythm and structure adds to the poem’s intensity—readers can truly feel the weight of the themes you’re exploring. The sense of a world on the brink of collapse, with nature and humanity intertwined in their plight, resonates powerfully and serves as a poignant reminder of our relationship with the earth.
  
  Here are a few suggestions for improvement:
  
  1. **Varied Sentence Structure**: While the repetition is powerful, consider introducing some variation in sentence structure to enhance the flow. Alternating between short, impactful lines and longer, more descriptive ones can create a more dynamic reading experience.
  
  2. **Imagery Expansion**: While your imagery is striking, expanding on some of the scenes could deepen the emotional resonance. For instance, consider exploring how the people running feel in this moment—what thoughts race through their minds? This could invoke more empathy in the reader.
  
  3. **Characterization**: Introducing a specific character or perspective within this apocalyptic scenario can help ground the poem. Doing so might allow readers to connect on a more personal level, making the despair even more relatable and visceral.
  
  4. **Hopeful Undertones**: Depending on your vision, you might contemplate weaving in subtle hints of hope or resilience amidst the darkness. These glimmers can offer a counterbalance to the overall theme, creating a more nuanced emotional landscape.
  
  Overall, your poem is a striking and thought-provoking piece that successfully engages the reader with its portrayal of desolation and loss. Keep experimenting with these ideas, as they can enhance an already powerful message. Excellent work! more »

  LikeReply 128 days ago