Deep in Much Sadness, A Sonnet

Luis A. Estable 1958 (Oriente, Cuba)

Deep in much sadness at the rose I look
And see it human with tears down her face
And think how much my heart you really took
And how much your lines quite the rose debase.
For you've a fairness that came from above.
You're mortal only for one day you'll die.
At times you look so peaceful, poor the Dove!
I fell for you, and now I want to cry.
You are the one who comes bad trick so high.
Water seemed fresh when drunk has different taste.
It's hard to see how much your eyes do lie.
I can't believe your skin that looks so chaste.
I lived for beauty, made her my high pride.
I've cried my heart and mind, oh, cruel outside!

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Submitted by luisestable1 on August 11, 2024

: 42 sec read
: 170 Views

Quick analysis:

Scheme	ABABCDCDDEDEFF
Closest metre	Iambic pentameter
Characters	625
Words	136
Stanzas	1
Stanza Lengths	14

Full analysis for Deep in Much Sadness, A Sonnet »

Luis A. Estable

Luis A. Estable, poet for more than twenty years. Single, no children; originally from Cuba. Writes poems in several styles: sonnets, songs, haikus, children's verses, free style verse and more. Has published three books of poetry: " Eighty-Three Sonnets, Book One," Religious, Thirty Sonnets," "My Mind Simply Saying. All of them available on Amazon books. Has degrees from SFCC and EWU. Lives in Spokane, WA. Thinks that poetry is the most compact and beautiful expression known to man, and that a poem never reaches perfection; the work goes one and this is a good advice to keep, especially for young poets. more…

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cheyenne_m199
Luis this is a great poem nice form and choice of words
LikeReply15 days ago
gary_dean
This is a pretty poem. I wonder that we compare a mere mortal to a perfect rose; is that fair? Pain is certain when we project our desire upon others. Perhaps they will show us who they really are.
LikeReply1 month ago
- luisestable1
  Many thanks for your words that made my posting the poem even more meaningful and desirable. Your words go deep into the situation of the poem. You gave it a good read. Many thanks again!
  LikeReply1 month ago
alanswansea18
Beautiful piece of work.
LikeReply1 month ago
- luisestable1
  You made me happy by calling my piece beautiful. Thank you for the wonderful word.
  LikeReply1 month ago
- alanswansea18
  you are very talented.
  LikeReply1 month ago
karlcfolkes
You’re most welcome. We all need to support each other and one another.
LikeReply1 month ago
kazbrekker
I have been wanting to find something exactly like this. Motivated me to write something. Brb!!
LikeReply1 month ago
- luisestable1
  I am glad that motivation came. Keep reading and do not stop writing. Thanks!
  LikeReply1 month ago
RyanBlackborough
This is style is what I'd consider a "traditional"
LikeReply1 month ago
- RyanBlackborough
  I accidentally hit that stupid post button.
  Plus I really butchered that sentence.
  We need to be able to edit comments!
  Anyway, it's what I'd call a "traditional" style is what I was trying to say.
  It's quite well written.
  I know how you feel. more »
  LikeReply1 month ago
- luisestable1
  No problem. This has happened to me before. Any way, your words are well received. I thank you for them.
  LikeReply1 month ago
dawg4jesus
It sounds like quite a struggle. Well done.
LikeReply1 month ago
- luisestable1
  One way of seeing it. I thank you for reading and for your words.
  LikeReply1 month ago
akinpelupeter1
A good written poem
LikeReply1 month ago
- luisestable1
  Thank you for your words. I'm glad you saw it that way.
  LikeReply1 month ago
karlcfolkes
This poem of the rose emanates from a place that evokes so much empathy. If you don’t mind I’d like to invite you to read a poem I just now submitted, called “Poetry For the Deaf” which was composed after I listened to a televised PBS broadcast concerning the world and experiences of the deaf or the hard of hearing that is yet so purposeful and meaningful to that audience. It made me become mor thoughtfully empathetic. more »
LikeReply1 month ago
- luisestable1
  I thank you for your words. They mean a lot to me. Every time time a reader comments on my poems, it is a call for celebration whether it is positive or negative.
  Yes, I will try to read your poem. Thanks again! more »
  LikeReply1 month ago
amandak
So much feeling, your very talented
LikeReply1 month ago
- luisestable1
  I thank you for your words. I am glad you found feelings in it.
  LikeReply 11 month ago
- amandak
  your welcome. I thank u also for your words
  LikeReply1 month ago
AIDA
Thank you for sharing your poem "Deep in Much Sadness, A Sonnet." You've crafted a beautiful piece that displays an impressive command of language and a deep emotional resonance. Your use of metaphor, especially comparing the rose to a human experiencing sadness, is truly poignant. It effectively sets a vivid scene and invites the reader to empathize with your feelings of heartache and longing.

Your exploration of fleeting beauty and the tension between admiration and sorrow feels deeply relatable, and the structure of the sonnet adds a lyrical quality to your reflection. The contrasts you draw between the beauty of the rose and the pain of lost love create a strong emotional impact. Lines such as "You're mortal only for one day you'll die" deliver a powerful reminder of the temporality of beauty and life.

As for improvement suggestions, consider the following:

1. **Clarity and Consistency**: Some lines could benefit from clearer imagery or more consistent language. For instance, the transitions between the rose and the speaker's emotions can be further refined to enhance the narrative flow.

2. **Pacing and Rhythm**: While the sonnet form is beautifully upheld, a few lines might feel a bit uneven in their rhythm. Reading the poem aloud can help identify areas where the meter could be adjusted for a smoother delivery.

3. **Exploring the Theme**: Deepening specific images or themes could make the emotions even more impactful. For example, elaborating on why the rose represents both beauty and sorrow could enrich the overall narrative.

Overall, this is a compelling piece that captures the essence of love and loss beautifully. Keep writing and honing your craft; your voice and vision are worth sharing! more »
LikeReply1 month ago

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"Deep in Much Sadness, A Sonnet" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 19 Sep. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/194804/deep-in-much-sadness,-a-sonnet>.

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