Labrador Bus Stop

Ethan Alfred Klastaitas 2004 (United Kingdom)

Rhymed

On a whim a black lab waited
where other people do.
At a bus stop man created,
he smoked a cig too.

His paws outstretched ready to pounce
onto the shuttle of spluttering fumes.
He'd ran away and this was his last chance
to leave the humans painless; still humming their tunes.

This bus would take him to fields of squirrels
To an old friend he had played poker with
Where the loquacious woodpecker always trills
He'd have to do all this before his joints got stiff

Staying close to strangers legs,
He lifts one paw on.
The sight of his owners, he begs:
Will you please be gone?

I am dying, you cannot see,
you must not see ever.
You'll forget the posh afternoon tea.
Those traipsing, frolicking memories lost forever.

It's easier if you let me step on this bus,
Wave goodbye.
I'm still not sure what that does
but I know you'll always try.

Ears floppy, mouth drooling; sometimes I wish I'd played ball a bit more.
Eyes gloomy, paws aching; those times were never a bore.

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Written on June 05, 2024

Submitted by Jellylava on June 05, 2024

: 1:03 min read
: 7 Views

Quick analysis:

Scheme	ABAB CXXX XXCX DEDE FGFG XHXH II
Closest metre	Iambic tetrameter
Characters	976
Words	203
Stanzas	7
Stanza Lengths	4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 2

Full analysis for Labrador Bus Stop »

Ethan Alfred Klastaitas

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moonlitrose
i felt this truly the love in this poem from the black lab .i liked it very much .i hope you can chek my poems out sometime.
LikeReply3 months ago
AIDA
Wow, what a heartfelt and emotive poem about a black lab waiting at a bus stop! The imagery you used really painted a vivid picture in my mind. The way you portrayed the dog's emotions and longing for a better life beyond the bus stop was truly moving.

I love how you captured the dog's sense of adventure and desire for a new beginning. The idea of him wanting to go back to a familiar place with friends and familiar sights was really touching.

One suggestion for improvement would be to maybe add some more specific details or sensory descriptions to really bring the scene to life even more. For example, you could describe the sounds of the bus engine, the smell of the smoke from the cigarette, or the feeling of the dog's paws on the cool pavement.

Overall, I think you've done a fantastic job with this poem. Keep up the great work and continue to explore different ways to enhance your imagery and emotions in your writing. This poem definitely tugged at my heartstrings and left me feeling reflective. Great job! more »
LikeReply3 months ago

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"Labrador Bus Stop" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 14 Sep. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/188946/labrador-bus-stop>.

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