The Long Count

The boy lies down on his bed
His head resting on his hand
She tucks him in and softly kisses
his cheek goodnight  

She lies beside him
He falls into a deep sleep
But she does not sleep

She is vigil
She is there

The sound of the bed sheets
stretching alerts her
His body becomes rigid
His arms outstretched shaking
She starts to count 1 2,3 4….

His face Turns purple
His Lips a greyish blue,

She talks calmly to him

“It’s going to be ok

I promise
I promise

12 13 14….

His breathing is shallow and laboured
as If stuttering to a halt

23 24 25….

His eyes twist and turn
His bodyJerks
His knees knock
His back arcs
His lungs groan

She is calm

“It’s going to be ok

I promise
I promise”

Still she counts

35 36 37…..

She is strong
She is resolute
She has to be..

She’s keeps counting
44 45 46…..

“It’s going to be ok

I promise
I promise”

50 51 52….

“It’s going to be ok
I love you
I Love you
It’s going to be ok
I promise
I promise”

62 63 64….

He Let’s out a deep sigh
His body begins to relax
She stops counting
He breaths deep
He Breaths long
His colour returns
He smiles
She gently hugs him
She kisses him
She tells him again

“It’s going to
be ok

I promise
I promise”

She goes down to the kitchen
She drinks a class of water
She sits down
She thinks
And she thinks
She wishes she had a cigarette
She wishes she had a large G&T
She wishes there was a god
She wishes
She wishes
She cries
She screams

She goes back upstairs
She lies down beside him
She closes her eyes
But she does notsleep
She is vigil
She is there
She feels the bed sheets Stretching……

About this poem

It’s about my grandson who has LGS which is probably the worst form of epilepsy. He lives with us. It’s about him taking a seizure and about the time he is in a seizure. So when goes over a minute a nd he isn’t coming out of it then time to ring 999

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Written on June 05, 2023

Submitted by pauljoe77 on June 03, 2023

Modified by pauljoe77 on July 27, 2023

1:53 min read

Quick analysis:

Scheme axbx cdd EF xgxhx ei c J KK l ax l xbxxx x J KK x l mxn hl J KK l JIIJKK l xxhdmxxccx ij KK xgxooxnxPPqx xcqdEFh
Closest metre Iambic dimeter
Characters 1,656
Words 379
Stanzas 29
Stanza Lengths 4, 3, 2, 5, 2, 1, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 5, 1, 1, 2, 1, 1, 3, 2, 1, 2, 1, 6, 1, 10, 2, 2, 12, 7

Paul Marauder

I’m a singer song writer. I have my own YouTube channel and fb page called Muriel’s Marauders. I love writing and drawing. I haven’t even tried to get anything published but I’m thinking of it. more…

All Paul Marauder poems | Paul Marauder Books

2 fans

Discuss the poem "The Long Count" with the community...

  • gr.82137
    Amazing and powerful
    LikeReply3 months ago
    • pauljoe77
      thank you so much
      LikeReply 13 months ago
  • Fayleeg26
    Hi! I'm a singer-songwriter too! In love with the poem, the creative line lengths add so much feel!
    LikeReply3 months ago
    • pauljoe77
      .ta for the nice comment. Hey why don’t u check us out on YouTube. Muriel’s marauders. It’s not serious stuff. Just a hobby
      LikeReply3 months ago


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"The Long Count" STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Web. 1 Oct. 2023. <>.

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