Self Worth

Self worth, self esteem, persona and identity.
All words we throw around usually attached to how you see me.
What you think, want and feel control my image so frequently.
In that mirror who I see, who I try to be, all those attachments I think I need. One more like, one more smile, one more word of praise as important as the air I breathe.
I want to be free of those chains.
Shake off the doubt, the fear, the shame.
God made me unique we aren’t meant to be the same.
Try to abstain from this social game of new names in my friend list, the self induced pain of trying to change just to remain  relevant.
It begins within, opening the door, you know that closet with the skeletons, that delicate evaluation of my own relevance tied to my past mistakes and embarrassments. Those times I chose settling instead of excellence. My mind my own impediment ever questioning my own intelligence. The way I really feel in a room, yeah that elephant. Choosing mediocrity, self negligence, giving up instead of betterment.
 Today I choose more, today I acknowledge my own worth. I accept the pain and lessons for what they were. Experiences needed for my true self to emerge. Not defined by the hurt, but defined by the strength of surviving what occurred. No longer a slave of what you’ve heard, not effected by your words, don’t need that dream girl although I acknowledge women are queens I don’t need a her to confirm my purpose on this earth. The price I’ve paid was for reason. That reason I’m still breathing. All that pain had its season.  I cant wallow in those I’ve lost but I can grieve them. Self loathing and pity akin to self treason. I can want people in my life but don’t need them.  I can still be considerate without people pleasing. I must release the legions of demons  that tell me I’m not good enough. I deserve love. I deserve fun. I deserve to hold my fucking head high around anyone. That old chapter it is done, my new journey has just begun. I and only I choose the person I become Face that mirror, forgive myself for the things I’ve done.
 I am stronger for my past, and deserving of a good future.
 I am not a useless piece of trash, I’m a survivor I'm a trooper.
 Pick of the broken pieces of glass and turn them into a work of art. Live my life with an open mind, live it with an open heart.
Not a victim, I choose my destiny. My story isn’t done there so much more left for me. I will own the reflection in that mirror, I choose who I will see. I choose who I will be, I choose to be free, I will succeed at being me, rebuild my self esteem, get up off my knees, I believe. I believe I can be great, let go of the self hate, elevate my mental state to a higher plane.
I am worthy that’s a fact. So to myself I make this pact. To stay on a forward track, I am never going back. This freedom is where it’s at, self love is unearthed on this path. Let faith pick up the slack, hope fill the areas I lack. Let love fill in the cracks, and build my esteem thru esteemable acts. Yes this is the way I’m meant to live. Don’t just exist but flourish, don’t settle for less, never rest, or give in to the stress, so to myself I attest, to myself I profess, to live each day as it is, and always try to be my best.