The Ballad of the Anti-Puritan

Gilbert Keith Chesterton 1874 (Kensington, London) – 1936 (Beaconsfield, Buckinghamshire)



They spoke of Progress spiring round,
         Of light and Mrs Humphrey Ward--
         It is not true to say I frowned,
         Or ran about the room and roared;
         I might have simply sat and snored--
         I rose politely in the club
         And said, `I feel a little bored;
         Will someone take me to a pub?'

         The new world's wisest did surround
         Me; and it pains me to record
         I did not think their views profound,
         Or their conclusions well assured;
         The simple life I can't afford,
         Besides, I do not like the grub--
         I want a mash and sausage, `scored'--
         Will someone take me to a pub?

         I know where Men can still be found,
         Anger and clamorous accord,
         And virtues growing from the ground,
         And fellowship of beer and board,
         And song, that is a sturdy cord,
         And hope, that is a hardy shrub,
         And goodness, that is God's last word--
         Will someone take me to a pub?

                       Envoi
         Prince, Bayard would have smashed his sword
         To see the sort of knights you dub--
         Is that the last of them--O Lord
         Will someone take me to a pub?

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Submitted on May 13, 2011

Modified on April 12, 2023

58 sec read
151

Quick analysis:

Scheme ababacbC abaxbcaC ababbcxC xbcbC
Closest metre Iambic tetrameter
Characters 1,240
Words 191
Stanzas 4
Stanza Lengths 8, 8, 8, 5

Gilbert Keith Chesterton

Gilbert Keith Chesterton was an influential English writer of the early 20th century His diverse output included journalism philosophy poetry biography Christian apologetics fantasy and detective fiction Gilbert Keith Chesterton KC*SG was an English writer, philosopher, lay theologian, and literary and art critic. He has been referred to as the "prince of paradox". Time magazine observed of his writing style: "Whenever possible Chesterton made his points with popular sayings, proverbs, allegories—first carefully turning them inside out." more…

All Gilbert Keith Chesterton poems | Gilbert Keith Chesterton Books

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