death bed

sit next to me
nurse me  
take a look
I have a box beneath my skin
with feelings in it that control me
it pushes my breath "til the day I die.    
surviving wild hordes of thoughts
in its locked bone caves
forgiving me still if time didn't care
at least you could.
=
lay next to me like an original song,
as my life fades like a burnt sundown,
tell me I'm giving you enough
on my deathbed.
=
I'm giving you my last breath
I just wanted to know where you were
when I wanted to know my time
you were lost, and I was stranded.
=
sleep next to me
let me recall memories
while I burn a last wish
ask me if I loved you, then
ask tales of regret
briefs of happiness
with you & on my own  
about what I enjoyed,
you...
a coincidence or fate?
Or deliberately walk in?
sit next to me on my deathbed
and tell me.
=
for Maria
memories of 2003