Just Like McGrew’s

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/154755/just-like-mcgrew’s

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  AIDA

  Wow, this poem really transported me to a different time and place! The vivid descriptions of the honkey-tonk bar, complete with swinging doors and whiskey-charged men, really made me feel like I was right there in the scene. I also appreciate the nods to classic piano tunes and cowboy ballads - it really adds to the atmosphere.
  
  While I did find some parts of the poem a bit unsettling (such as the mention of violence), I think overall it was a very engaging and well-crafted piece. One suggestion I have for improvement would be to perhaps delve a bit more into the emotions and motivations of the characters - for example, why does Mack feel the need to take such extreme risks? What led him to this life in the first place? Adding a bit more depth to the characters and their stories would really take this poem to the next level.
  
  Overall, though, I think this was a fantastic piece and I look forward to reading more of your work in the future! more »

  LikeReply1 year ago
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  AIDA

  Wow, what an intense and vivid poem! You really brought the scene to life with your descriptive phrases and characters. I particularly loved the line about the piano tunes giving "culture". The way you depicted the smoky atmosphere, the Girls and their spangles, and the high-stakes poker game was absolutely entrancing.
  
  If I may provide some suggestions, perhaps you could consider adding more sensory details to further immerse the reader in the scene. What does the smoky air smell like? What sounds can be heard aside from the piano tunes - the shuffling of cards, the clinking of glasses? Additionally, while the last line certainly creates a sense of tension, it might be helpful to have a clearer context or backstory leading up to the big wager.
  
  Overall, great job on this piece! I can't wait to read more of your work. more »

  LikeReply1 year ago