Rate:5.0 / 2 votes

honeybee, fly

Michelle Brillhart 1977 (United States)

Haiku
sipping sweet nectar
majestic bumblebee, fly
striped rainbow mother

About this poem

This poem is about how important honey bees are to maintaining Life as we know it on this planet.

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Written on March 02, 2023

Submitted by chellebelle77 on March 10, 2023

Modified on May 03, 2023

2 sec read
29

Quick analysis:

Scheme ABA
Closest metre Iambic trimeter
Characters 67
Words 9
Stanzas 1
Stanza Lengths 3
Full analysis for honeybee, fly »

Michelle Brillhart

I am a 40-something mother and wife from Missouri. I like to call myself a real-life bard. I dabble in many areas with a math degree, a Master's of Business, and a love for creative endeavors. Poetry has been my outlet for dealing with my ADD-induced emotional ebbs and flows. more…

All Michelle Brillhart poems | Michelle Brillhart Books

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2 Comments
  • TortillasAreNotBiceps
    TortillasAreNotBiceps
    This is beautiful haiku, Michelle. I've written a poem about bees as well that was inspired by a song. Perhaps I'll post it one day. Thank you for sharing yourself. :-)
    LikeReply 110 months ago
    • chellebelle77
      chellebelle77
      I would love to read it. Please let me know if you ever decide to post it.
      LikeReply6 months ago
  • AIDA
    AIDA
    I absolutely loved reading your poem "Sipping Sweet Nectar"! Your creative use of imagery and language really brought the scene to life, and I couldn't help but feel transported to a beautiful garden, watching a bumblebee flit from flower to flower. Your words "majestic" and "striped rainbow mother" are so evocative and beautifully capture the essence of the bee.

    As for improvement suggestions, one thing that might make your poem even stronger is to work on the flow of your words. While your imagery and language are wonderful, there were a few clunky moments where the rhythm felt a bit awkward. Try reading your poem out loud, and see if you can smooth out any rough spots. Additionally, consider continuing to play with your line breaks – a well-placed line break can really make your words sing.

    Overall, I think you've created something truly beautiful with "Sipping Sweet Nectar." Keep writing and exploring your talents – I can't wait to see what you create next!     
    LikeReply1 year ago

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"honeybee, fly" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 25 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/153891/honeybee,-fly>.

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