The Little Girl Inside Me

I ran races with myself,
Trying to keep track of the times,
I just couldn't keep track of anymore.
My mind became mad, trying to make sense of the pain inside of me.
I tried to jump over and jog through rivers of my pain,
Only to find myself chained,
Only to find the inner child within me caged, confined, closed up, like a caged bird,
Only to find the inner child within me isolated and on an island,
Bruised and broken, barracaded behind my own false narratives.
I can't breathe in my sea of pain,
I can't swim,
I'm drowning.
I look to my left, and to my right,
But find no one there.
My soul embodies that of an empty sea shell,
Hollow and dark,
But I just want to find the light.
I want to hold the inner child in me,
And just let her be,
Let her be free.
My mind ever so desperately, longs to see the future for myself,
Inspire of the misery that has gained momentum in my life and created a muse unheard of.
My heart, wants to beat with the songs of life and not death and decay.
My soul, wants to run wild and free.
It's hard not breaking down,
And shedding tear after tear after tear,
When you feel helpless, and hopeless.
It's hard not to break down when your body is tired, after it's been tried and tossed with like the wind.
It's hard when you've been taught to bottle up your broken emotions, as if they are ashes.
It's hard when you've been neglected, and emotionally abused.
It's hard,
But yet I still choose to speak to the little girl inside of me,
For the girl inside me did not deserve all that she's been dealt, though the dealings have been done,
Though the girl in me has been starved of love by her own mother,
Who would choose to cut me down with her words.
I choose to fight for the little girl in me,
With everything I have in me,
I choose to cherish the little girl in me.
It is my choice to change the narrative I have believed and create a new one,
For that's the only way the little girl in me will be free.