Before I’m 23

I can’t help all these thoughts that keep flowing,
I try to smother it over and over but it just keeps going.
It’s so hard to shield you from what’s inside I don’t want you knowing.
I put on this mask, a second side to witch you can relate… to keep it all from showing.

Yes there are others just like me that can’t take it all the same,
22 of them to be more specific but not to share a name.
Doing what we are told, no questions no remorse and we take the blame,
We cover it all up bottle it deep to protect us from the shame.
While most people stay in a comfort zone that we provide,
We are out there In another world risking our on hide.
Its hard to imagine war and a book or a movie just can’t describe,
The ringing shots, the vibrations in the ground as your pelted with debris, I don’t think your down for the ride.

When the fighting is done we get to leave with twisted thoughts and a worn out beret,
Burned images of death and decay scattered in our brain.
We have a beaten down heart and soul all a fray,
Not knowing where our thoughts will take us the next day.

How soldiers carry on in the real world after all they do and see,
I just don’t understand cause it’s really getting to me.
Everything inside of me is telling me to flee,
God damn it I need help before I’m 23!

I don’t want to be 23

22 is about half of the truth, the number is so much higher with no debate,
This number is tallied from only 21 of the worlds best states.

To make this matter worse those 21 states… only a percent of vets on record,
To tell the truth! For them to tell the truth… I don’t think the government can afford.

The real number must be staggering,
to think it could be that much higher.
It can only keep me wondering, why keep it all from us… why be a lier?

It puts me a little deeper into my mind,
How many of them are MIA?
I don’t mean ones we can’t find,
It’s the ones that never hit the dossier.
To me the government could try much harder like the soldiers did every day,
There are a lot of programs mostly NON-Government.
They offer the help way to late if it were up to me to say,
It should start at the very day of the fine soldiers enlistment!

I don’t want to be 45

All of this.. it hurts me inside and crumbles my brain,
To think all we have done for people and country.
There is so much I want to say but have to refrain,
That’s just not how we roll, but I’ll say we can’t get a discount on a coffee.

Don’t get me wrong it’s not about a discount on that cup,
It’s about the lack of ownership and all the neglect.
For all that we have sacrificed until our term was up,
We only want to ask you for your highest respect.

In a strange but real twist it comes back to the discount not to belittle the rest,
With the little help of that discount offers some financial freedom.
It’s the least that can be done for our nations best,
In fact it can even keep some of them in their own home.

The battles in our heads never stop once they get started,
The first shot is fired when you sign the dotted line.
These battles they are not the same for each of our dearly departed,
And each one of them mentally said they are fine.

It’s easy to say that you do fully understand,
But no one knows another’s pain and suffering like the one that went through it.
If we could only share with you the thoughts and emotions my friend,
I’m certain your story would also end with a bullet.

I don’t want to be…?