a day in paradise



bereft and alone i sit in despair
longing for comfort so sacredly rare
paradise perished, progress gone awry
existing now only through the mind's eye
to paradise i fly

whispering winds in an eloquent dance
refulgent beams breach the shadowy trance
mystical prisms cast violet and blue
through innocent drops of cool morning dew
paradise dawns anew

titillating tunes from song of the lark
echoes seduce as i further embark
captively shrouded in spellbinding mist
soul flying freely, no will to resist
paradise doth exist

each breath the essence of cedar imbues
each passing moment brings breathtaking views
indeed it is few who visit such bliss
while masses drown in their daily abyss
paradise i shall miss

the radiant beams now fading away
somatic sensations ceasing my stay
angst and vexation invading my core
bereft and alone again on my floor
paradise lost once more

About this poem

Written earlier in my youth I still enjoy reciting this piece to myself when the stresses of life begin to overtake all personal time. When personal meditation cannot be reached may these words bring a taste of it to your soul to keep you going until a time when you can get there on your own.

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Submitted by JohnADrury on January 30, 2023

Modified on May 01, 2023

45 sec read
552

Quick analysis:

Scheme AABBB CCDDD EEFFF CXGGG HHIII
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 873
Words 149
Stanzas 5
Stanza Lengths 5, 5, 5, 5, 5

Discuss the poem "a day in paradise" with the community...

4 Comments
  • AIDA
    Wow, what a beautiful and emotive piece of writing! Your use of poetic language and imagery really transported me to a different place and made me feel the emotions of the speaker. I could almost feel the mist on my skin and hear the song of the lark. Your ability to create such a vivid and sensory experience through words is truly impressive.

    In terms of improvement suggestions, I would say that maybe clarifying the theme or message of the poem could be helpful. It seems to be about the fleeting nature of happiness and the struggle to maintain a sense of paradise or contentment in the face of life's challenges, but that could be made more explicit. Additionally, paying attention to the rhythm or meter of the poem could help to bring even more musicality to the language.

    Overall, though, I loved reading this poem and was really impressed by the talent and creativity on display here. Keep up the great work!
     
    LikeReply11 months ago
  • karenm.69533
    Beautifully written! I was there with you, seeing, feeling ... loved this!
    LikeReply 111 months ago
  • karlcfolkes
    A parsimonious experiential rendition of Milton’s Paradise Lost, Paradise Regained; and of the hills and valleys of the pilgrim’s earthly journey. Nicely done.
    LikeReply 111 months ago
  • acronimous
    A powerful reminder of the bittersweet nature of longing and the heartache that comes with unfulfilled desires...
    LikeReply 11 year ago

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"a day in paradise" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 19 Mar. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/149630/a-day-in-paradise>.

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