MY IMAGINARY PLAN

If you were to win the lottery,
Do you dream of what you would do,
Let's make it real and say the amount,
Would 35 mill do it for you

Would you race off and tell your family and friends
I believe that to be a mistake,
They would all rock up with their hands held out,
To see how much they could take.

Would you like to hazard a guess,
As to what I would do,
I wouldn't tell a single soul,
I would make a beeline for Myer,
Albeit in my wheelchair,
And I would buy their most
expensive shoe

Is that a scoff I hear from the gallery,
Where only peanuts dare to live,
Why on earth would you buy a shoe,
When you can't even walk,
I think what you're saying Is a total fallacy.

I'm going to find the finest hospital,
With the finest surgeons,
Because I have unlimited funds,
I can afford to bring in the very best
I can afford to bring in the big guns.

I'm going to have everything fixed,
My knees my shoulders my boobs,
I'll probably have something done to my face,
Give me more confidence,
When I rejoin the human race.

When all is said and done,
When I'm finally fit and well,
I'm going to buy me some land,
Down on the Gold Coast,
Up in the Hinterland.

I'll build a big sprawling Queenslander,
With a huge meandering veranda,
All the way around,
Does this sound to you,
Like I'm describing the perfect plan.

It's good, but it's not yet perfect,
There's something important still missing
I'm gonna have to think long and hard,
It really is a mystery.

Nope I've got it now,
The essential part to this plan,
Call me dumb
Call me stupid
How could I have missed it,
I'm gonna go out and get me a man.

He will need to be at least
6 foot 3,
Not an inch shorter or tall,
He'll have big brown eyes,
And jet black hair,
He'll be a kind and gentle man
If he wants to be part of my plan.

Most of the time,
He will wear his hair up,
In my favourite style
He will wear it in a man bun,
Methinks you should wipe the sweat from your brow,
Because this story has only just begun.

He will have the longest eyelashes,
That you've ever seen,
Is that a new colour
I see rising in your face,
If I'm not mistaken,
Methinks it's the colour green.

He'll have the biggest heart,
And the strongest arms,
When he wraps them tight around me
I'll feel safe and secure,
It will be impossible to ignore his charms.

His name will be Matt,
I have no idea where I got that
Who cares
I'll take it,
I'll put it in my plan
It is now a fact.

His skin will be dark,
To match his eyes and hair,
I'm not too sure about his ethnic background
Oh Mother of God give me mercy,
I've just decided,
He's going to come from Turkey.

Bite your tongue,
This is not your fantasy
It's mine,
If I want a beautiful man to be in it,
He’ll be there
Altho obviously,
I would need to turn back time.

Wouldn't it be great
If this plan were true
But shock horror it's not
It's imaginary,
Altho surely you must agree,
It does display,
A certain originality.

I don't intend to keep my win a secret,
But I'm not telling anyone,
My family won’t know
Unless they contact me,
Which I expect to be around the 12th of Never,
So it looks like I've hit a home run.

This amazing imaginary plan
That I've just conjured up
Is in a world I will never visit
How can I be so sure of that
I've never once bought a lottery ticket.

SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN TO ME