Obsessed With Effort

Obsessed with effort, time will let me know when it's enough. Deny my wishes and blame suffering on the luck. I am cutting the wings of desire while taping the tongue of love. Endeavor success until it can give a hug.

Fighting my demons while trying to get some rest. Ask God for assistance and record on a cassette. To play it back ten times over for the days that I'm depressed. I am trying to survive while drowning in debt.

Ignoring mental health and just proceed. Putting in an effort assuming the rest is guaranteed. Trying to be optimistic and believe in a dream. But at this point, I am just trying to eat.

Why is it this difficult just to live? I'm surprised. If it's not the violence, it's the war within my mind.  Stress kill, I sware and confusing to describe. Impossible to shake, especially with anxiety combined.

Obsessed with effort working as if it's all I know, freezing my emotions like 50 below zero. Trying to be comfortable like moving that pillow. Flip it around and add pressure to stretch it like a limo.

In my lane, avoiding the world around me. While others are in people's shit like TMZ. We all go through something. Just let it be. Shit gets personal, and everyone disagrees.

Every rose has its thorns. Every unheard prayer loses hope. Playing with a clock in my dreams with visuals like a kaleidoscope. Take a bath of regret while cleansing the sins using the faithful soap. We are all sinners with memories we wish to forego.

Hopefully, at some point, life will accept. I'll be within the tracks, and things will be perfect. If it's not, I understand the effects. Money brings out the inner demon most neglect.

I don't have the cash, so I have no say. When I do, I'll divide what's necessary. Whatever is left after taxes will be split in 4 ways. Family, savings, debt, and the wallet keeps what remains.

Obsessed with effort, I hope it'll be worth it. Glued my soul to ambition but it grew an inch. Sit and ponder like those who reminisce. Put faith in my work and ignore the promises.