SAUDADE

With lingering thoughts and a letter in my hand, perpetual.
I reach her doorstep and knock twice, yearning.
I sit down, aware of her presence on the other side, misfortunate.
Words flow out from the letter etching my heart, destination.
Darkness voiding your existence, sunshine.
Time and scars burning your soul, stoic.
Heartbeats that raced to ache, sigh.
Yet here I was, head over heels reciting, ludicrous.
“you left me breaking every bone and breath of my body,
yet I stood there watching you do it everyday,
all the pain was bringing pleasure as I got to be with you.
and that's all I want, I'll ever need to smile.”
The very illusion of you calms me down, home.
Hold my hand, let me hear you cry, relief.
Do not push me away, no more replacements, intrusion.
Would you let me in, girl? please say yes, saudade.