Christmas?

Putting out the cookies
Pouring out the milk
The carrots on the reindeer plate
Excitement to know that Santa was coming just for me,
Making hot chocolate as a family
Hoping Santa wouldn’t forget me.
Being tucked into bed,
Kissed lightly on my forehead and told
“I love you”
How I miss the tender love of Christmas
How I used to feel before going to sleep,
Dreaming of all the possibilities.
Slowly that spirt faded,
And you are left feeling empty and confused about Christmas.
Sometimes I feel as if my mother doesn’t love me like she used too,
I miss when we would look at Christmas lights,
But now we can’t even get out the door without another fight.
I didn’t know what to get my family this year,
But the best present for them would have been,
Never having me.