A Dip in Madness!

I dream of a madness,
A certain kind of madness love,
I revel in it, find pleasure in it,
I drink it like the coming of spring,
I enchant myself to believe it's a sham,
But it's not my love,
I am fascinated by my own blood,
by the blood of everyone else,
Jaan, have you seen the way,
a dead animal throes, before death,
For if that is not music,
Then I have no idea what is, my dear.
Isn't human an animal, jaan,
Wild, filled with instinct yet restrained,
Tame to look at, but quick to bite,
Or am I the one who's the animal,
I don't know any longer, jaan,
I have crossed the borders of sane,
Long ago i had, but I came to realize just now,
And it is too late, for I am already a dying musician,
Addicted to other such musicians,
But aren't we all creators of death,
Bards who play a tune,
Some a tune of death, some a tune of life,
I can't be the bard of life my dear,
As you can only write what you love,
And I have always been infatuated with the gone,
Or the going,
i have no love, my jaan, for a heaving chest,
For only the still can hold the secrets,
Of who I am, who I will be,
No living soul can be told my dear,
For I myself am not living,
But maybe when my mangled flesh,
Will be once again moving,
When I will once again touch another soul,
When I will find a fascination for the living,
When I myself will be living,
Maybe then my love,
I will write a lyric of spring, and of life,
A sonnet to peace,
An elegy to you,
An elegy to me as well.
Maybe then my love will we both be reborn.