Becoming

I want to be the one they wanted to be,
so I closed my eyes and began to be ,
thoughts were too heavy,
like the mask I wore,
pleased with insanity
of becoming a lore.
reason was similar to the sunken sun,
treason was floating in midway run,
troubled mind was searching,
sympathy of betraying coldness of aging,
skin itself need wrapping.
curled upon the strings of thoughts,
pleasure to get choked and hanged,
impurity of my sensual wings,
in manner of becoming
the one they wanted to be
but I can never be.

not again, not again
I have things to do before I do it again.
So close, it's too close
I can see your eyes binding my veins
don't stop, don't stop
don't let my soul break these chains.
even if I could, do not let me do
forgive my freedom, there's no dream.
world gets older as I bid
with sins and signs of
my unwanted quest.

this feeling won't stop me
from living this life as it should be
by polishing with tears
often, when it needed
and with love that crave
for needless lust
and creepy nightmares
to embrace the night.

want to be buried
within the deepest memories
of somebody else.
waiting to be remembered,
so you can exist.